Re: Help PLEASE! -- Unplanned Pregnancy Advice Board

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Subject:

Re: Help PLEASE!

Author:
Melanie

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Date Posted: 07/12/07 5:09am
In reply to: Lacey 's message, "Help PLEASE!" on 07/11/07 6:21pm

Hi Lacey, A lot of people (parents included) don't really realize how deep an impact an abortion can have on your life. It sounds like you want one thing, but are being guided in another direction. You already know that you have a baby. That knowledge doesn't suddenly go away after the fact. NO matter what you do from here on, things will not be exactly as they were simply because the baby is gone. And that baby is your baby, not simply "a" baby. I know this has to be a really scary time for you.

As for education, there are programs out there for single moms to help finish their education. I know my neice (who isn't even a single mom) just qualified for grants to finish school and the fees were waived. What you might want to make an appointment for (instead of an abortion) are counselors at your school to help you make a plan that works with both you and the baby. As for adoption, that is still one possibility, although not an easy one. Your boyfriend still has a lot of time to think that one through if it's a direction you want to go.

You owe it to yourself to find out all of your options (and I don't mean abortion, adoption, raising your baby -- I mean what resources are available to you to accomplish your goals with/without a baby) before you do anything you may spend a lifetime regretting.

If I can help point you in the direction of any resources, please let me know and I will help in whatever way I can.

Take care,
Melanie

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Replies:

[> Subject: Re: Help PLEASE!

Author:
Lori
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Date Posted: 07/12/07 1:33pm

Hi Lacey,

Welcome to the board! First let me say that you shouldn't make any decision based on others thoughts or opinions. YOU are the one who will have to go through with the abortion not your boyfriend, not your parents or his parents. You will also be the one who will live with the decision that you have made not anyone else so you need to make this decision based on what you believe in and what you know is right.

You said in your post that you don't want to "kill" your baby, in other words you don't want to have an abortion. I believe that is your natural instinct to protect your child and your feeling that. You need to do what you know is right and seeing that you do view abortion as killing a child you could have some serious regrets after the abortion. If you would like some information on problems that could come from having an abortion go to afterabortion.com. There are not just psychological problems that can occur after a abortion but there are also physical complications.

I know its hard to be strong and stand up for what you know is right when everyone around you is against the very thing that your fighting for. I have been there, I too have experienced a unplanned pregnancy at the age of twenty. I chose to have my child and now Im happily married with two boys that I completely adore.

The decision to give life was hard not because I didn't want to have my baby but because I was scared of what others thought and because the father of my baby was completely scared of the change that a child would bring to his life. I realized after going to a abortion clinic that I could never go through with it and at that point I prayed and asked God to please help me. I felt so desperate at that very moment, it was like I was making a choice to end my child's life to make everyone else happy and live with the grief of knowing my child is not alive or having my child and being completely scared of not knowing what the future would hold for us. I decided to trust God and know that if God can bring me through my life that He would help me bring my child into the world and take care of him and He did. It hasn't always been easy, nothing in life ever is really easy but being a mom is the best thing that has ever happened to me and I honestly believe that having my child saved me. My little boy changed my life in a way that I could never imagine and I will be forever greatful to God for blessing me with the gift of my son.

I'm here for you, if you ever need to talk please feel free to email me any time. I will be praying for you. Please continue to keep us updated.

God Bless,
Lori