Just found out I'm pregnant -- Unplanned Pregnancy Advice Board

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Subject:

Just found out I'm pregnant

Author:
Sharon

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Date Posted: 11/ 6/06 5:15pm

I just found out today that I'm pregnant and I've made the decision not to tell my ex boyfriend. He's a controlling guy which is why I am no longer with him. I'm 22 years old. I'm scared that I won't be able to do this by myself. I've already had one abortion when I was 18, and I can't do it again, I won't. I haven't told my parents yet, I'm afraid of how they'll react. I'm just so scared, I feel so alone with this.

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Replies:

[> Subject: Re: Just found out I'm pregnant

Author:
Lisa
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Date Posted: 11/ 7/06 1:19pm

Hello Sharon!

Welcome to the board and congratulations on your pregnancy. Most if not all of us on this board are of the opinion that a baby is a blessing no matter the circumstances.

How far along are you? Where do you live, we can help with resources for you, we would need your state and nearest city if you feel comfortable giving that.

I am happy to hear that you want to keep your baby. All of us on here have at one time or another been in your situation. My own situation, I was much older than you. I had my unplanned baby at the age of 35. My beautiful daughter Sophie will be 3 in December. Intially, some friends and family were a little taken aback. My dad was even mad. At my age! He came around very quickly as did everyone else. It is nautural to be afraid of the unknown and that is the position where you are.

You can do this with your boyfriend or you can do it without him. My daughter's father has not seen her in almost 2 years, but he pays for her. It is his choice and his loss that he no longer sees her.

We will help in any way we can.

Looking forward to hearing more from you!

Lisa

[> [> Subject: Re: want to have a baby
Author: tasha (not sure, undecided) [ Edit \| View ]	Date Posted: 11/10/06 9:10pm hey this may sound weird but i actually want to have a baby, but i am confused because there are alot of questions that i have like money and space im not going to have a child until i know that i am stable but i just need a little help

[> Subject: Re: Just found out I'm pregnant

Author:
luka
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Date Posted: 11/ 7/06 9:15pm

What do you think will happen if you tell your boyfriend? I have been with controlling men in the past and i can very much understand your not wanting to tell him. Do you think he would possibly hurt you or your child at any stage? I think that if you feel threatened by this man that you have in fact made a wise decision by not telling him. Without going into any details i know first hand what it is like to deal with a controlling abusive, insideously manipulative and malicious man and i wish i never told him about my pregnancy (long story) because he hasn't changed at all and i fear every day for my child because he has any part in my little ones life. It's a very uneasy feeling like i can never relax. If you plan to keep the pregnancy to yourself indefinately for you and your childs safety and sanity i suggest moving away from the area your boyfriend lives ect. If he is willing to try to control you , you can only imagine what he will be like with a vulnerable innocent child it's a really long hard road to go down with a man like this.
Having said all that your baby no matter who his/her father is still very much a blessing and will change your life for the better. Congratulations! :) How far along are you?

[> Subject: Re: Just found out I'm pregnant

Author:
Pat
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Date Posted: 11/ 8/06 4:31am

Hi, Sharon!

I am very glad you came!

You will have to follow your instincts about whether to tell the father or not. Since you have broken off with him (which I think is wise), there's no reason to tell him.

You can find help with any problems you may face by going here:

www.pregnancycenters.org

This site will tell you where there is a crisis pregnancy agency in your area, where you can receive practical help, and you can also get online counseling if you like. We will also be here to support you emotionally and answer your questions. I personally raised seven children, and you are welcome to pick my brain! I also sometimes had to take care of all those children alone when my husband had to be out of the country for several weeks at a time, so I have experience going it alone, too. :)

Hugs,
Pat

[> [> Subject:

Re: Just found out I'm pregnant

Author:
Tracey
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Date Posted: 11/17/06 2:58pm

Sharon~
First of all, welcome to our board! You have found a safe place! You are not alone! We are here to support and help! Congrats on your news...I truly believe that every child is a blessing, whether planned or not!
If you truly feel that the baby's father would react harshly or cause you to feel unsafe in any way, I highly agree with you in keeping this hush, atleast for the time being. You have to trust your instincts, especially when it comes down to your safety, as well as your child's safety and well-being.
Please continue to keep us posted and let us know how we can help! Feel free to post here anytime!
God bless,
Tracey