| Subject: Re: Unwanted by the father, and am back with ex husband |
Author:
Pat
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Date Posted: 06/28/09 6:30am
In reply to:
Julia
's message, "Re: Unwanted by the father, and am back with ex husband" on 06/26/09 7:57am
Hi, Julia,
I don't have a lot to add to what Tracey said, because I think she said it so well. But I do want to add this. The baby is made in God's image. God intended to give you this baby. We don't know why, and we may not know for awhile, but as I have learned in life, there is always a reason.
I desperately didn't want to be pregnant with my last child. But abortion wasn't an option. He has brought so much to my life! He delighted me for hours with his wonderful guitar playing. When my mother-in-law wanted more than anything else to stay in her apartment her last year of life, he was the only one who was available to take care of her, and he moved in with her. Without this, she probably wouldn't have been able to stay. She was such a sweetheart, and she had literally given us the shirt off her back when she needed help, so this was the least we could do. Then our son enlisted in the Army, and has spent two tours of duty in Iraq, helping to protect our country. I am so proud of him! And he gave us a precious grandson.
You do the right thing. Don't try to cater to what someone else might do in the long run. If you do have an abortion, it is just about an ironclad guarantee that your family WILL be destroyed. You will have killed an innocent child, and you don't even believe in that! I get so upset that women even have to FACE this decision. It's not right! If you are concerned about tearing your family apart, PLEASE don't have an abortion. You can't bring good out of such a dark deed. Your husband most likely will accept this baby. But please bear in mind that men are much slower to accept a new child than we women are. We have evidence right in our own bodies that we are carrying a child, but a man doesn't observe this until the second trimester. He has to see an ultrasound, hear a heartbeat, feel movement, or see changes in the mother's body. Your situation was chaotic, and what happened isn't surprising. Give him time. Just tell him that you HAVE a child, and even though this child isn't part of him, it IS part of you, and if he loves you, he will be able to love this child. We raised two adopted children. They weren't physically part of either of us, but they were still very much our children. This baby needs an adoptive father, and your husband can be that father. Is he worthy of you? Not if he expects you to kill your baby. Just tell him that! It's not open to discussion. You are going to do the right thing, and whatever he does is up to him, but this is not open to discussion.
Be strong. Pray. You can do it. Take one day at a time. We love you and your baby and will pray for you.
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