Author:
Heather
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Date Posted: 07/29/09 1:53pm
Hi Kristen,
Welcome to the board! There's a lot of awesome women here, and each one has their own experience to bring to the table.
I can't agree more with Shellie about the perspective of either way your life is going to change.
My instinct is to say that if you 'know if your heart' you want to keep this little one, you should! It will change the tapestry of your life, but so many things do - we don't seem to be able run that ship as undistracted as we'd suppose to at the outset of our plans. :)
And sometimes the unplanned events in our lives are the very ones that God uses to make the most beauty. He seems to specialize in that.
Having already addressed the primary instinct you referenced to want to keep your baby, I can add my other two cents that working backward from priority the 'other things' seem to have a way of working themselves out. Maybe it would help to simply think of this little one as 'your' son our daughter, not necessarily a link forever to the biological father. In the end, it is your body and your baby. There's the positive there to focus on.
The circumstances surrounding that an unplanned pregnancy that make it scary (finances, responses of loved ones, career decisions, etc) are always shifting anyway, always prone to being utterly different even a calendar year into the future, but abortion is permanent. I have volunteered time counseling post abortion women, who are very dear to my heart, and it does weigh heavily to hear the suffering and struggle over the permanence of the loss, and feeling at the time as though they 'had no other choice' but painfully reconsidering afterward.
My own thoughts: I think human life is a continuum from conception to death and therefore that abortion is wrong, for both the new human life created that shouldn't be discriminated against because of it's 'smallness,' and for women, who in my experience most often opt for the choice of an abortion of their baby, in violation of all their natural instincts, because of fear. I think women are best served when they are supported in the new challenges that come with the new life created, emotional and otherwise, so they don't feel so much pressure from without to think that their 'life will be over' with the protection of the new person's life. I do believe that all life is a gift from God, and when peacemaking measures are sought, they are bountifully granted in grace.
This is what I have seen so far.
I also know an unplanned pregnancy is a crazy strange journey to be on in those first weeks. You're not alone! So many women have faced your mountain. I hope you'll keep posting and taking advantage of this venue for decompression.
Don't forget to take good care of yourself! Lots of extra sleep, good support system, and good diet/vitamins.
I don't know what city you're from (I'm in Santa Cruz, CA) but just about every city in America has a Pregnancy Resource Center that offers every help known to woman under the sun. They are seriously great facilitators. Everything is free, and they offer emotional counseling, financial resources, career resources for women who are pregnant or have small children (their are tons out there!) and baby things. If interested you can easily find the one closest to you online.
With Kindness,
Heather
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