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Date Posted: 20:21:02 10/15/00 Sun
Author: Siti Khadijah Ruiz Bt. Abdullah
Subject: Calling in My Life

Bismilla hirahman nirahmim

As Salamu Alaikum Wa rahmatullahi wa barakatu

Inshallah I will be guided in writting this, by Allah.

I am a convert, or revert to Islam.

It all started when I was 7 yrs. old. My 1st grade teacher ask us, her students, to go home and ask our parents if they had had any children before us. So being the obedient little girl that I was, I did just that. To my surprise my Mother told me She had a little girl prior to me. My Sister died when whe has 5 months old, of a stomach virus that was in the milk formula for infants. At that time 100's of little babies died. My mother had her eyes filled with tears, and she said if I wanted to meet my sister someday I should be good all my life and I will get to go to heaven where she is. So my calling from Allah started.

It could be said I became a very sensitive little girl at that time. Whenever I would get sad or I felt a pulling to get away from my friends I would find a secluded place and I would look up to the sky and pray to God. I would say, 'God I wish I could see my sister'. Little did I know this was acctually Allah calling me away from trouble. You see when I would feel this way it was usually during times when my friends would be talking about things that weren't good to do, or it was a night.

For a few years I forgot about this 'Calling'. When I was 7 1/2 yrs old we moved from Spain to Italy. There I met a little girl that was always talking about God and how we should go to church two times a week. She was Catholic, and I was being brought up Catholic at the time. My little friend would tell me things that we should do in church. Most of all, I would listen to what the Prient had to say. I would hang on every word he would read from the Bible. I do remember feeling very scared looking at all those statues, I felt like they were looking at my every move.

When I was 11 1/2 yrs old we moved for the last time to America, Texas. Of course now being a teenager, I totally forgot about the 'calling'. I became involved in all the great wonderful things in a teenagers life. But, when I was 16 yrs. old I again had a overwhelming feeling of needing a greater power of guidance in my life. I "Accepted Jesus as my 'Saviour'". I used the Bible as my guidance. It was the only thing I knew that was from God, and I needed God in my life. I returned back to the Catholic church, I attended regularly every Wednesday and Sunday. Until I started to study the Bible by myself. I kept going back to the "10 commandments", Exodus chapter 20. The first three commandments kept my attention. 1) "Thou shat have no other gods before me. 2) Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in the heaven above, ot that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth: 3) Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I the Lord thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me;"

I remember being in the Catholic church and looking at the huge statue hanging on a cross behind the Priest, I asked myself 'why do we bow down before that statue before we sit, and why are there so many statues around us? Doesn't God Himself say not to make them or bow down to them?' This was just the begining.

Leaving the Catholic church, I began praying daily for God to send me someone who would guide me to a better church. A few weeks later some Christian people came knocking at our door. They wanted to invite us to their Southern Baptist Church. When I started to attend I felt peace for a while because there weren't any statues. Again I was called to the '10 commandments'. I read the 5 th commandment. 5) Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy.
When I asked about this, I was told 'the commandments were nailed to the cross when Jesus died for our sins'. Then I became totally confused. Why would God nail the '10 commandments' to the cross? Does that mean we don't hav to keep from sin anymore? But of course not.

The 'calling' became stronger at this time. I left that church and began praying three times a day for God to send me someone that would help me understand the Bible and study it. Three months later I met with people of the Seventh-Day Adventist church. These people studied the Bible from cover to cover. I read so many things. About the Prophets, about the commandments of God, the prophecies, the "Church" of God, the time of the end, and so much more. I remained in this church for many years, I felt it was the church of God.

When I was in College I met a person from Malaysia. This person was of the Islamic religion. As I attempted to convert this person to Christianity, they would only tell me this: "There is only One God, Allah, and The Prophet Muhammad SAW is His last messenger to the world, and the Quran is the message that was sent for the end time". I became interested as to why they would only answer this again and again. Althought this person did not practice Islam, did not pray, and did things that were not appropriate, they still had Islam in the heart.

I became interested in Islam only after this person went back to Malaysia. I began to pray three times a day, and asking in an exact way for "The One God" to show me which is His True Religion. Finally the Pastor at the Seventh-Day Adventist church, kept quoting things from the Bible that told me Islam is The Church of The One God. My Biggest issue was about wearing a scarf or veil on my head. For three consecutive Saturday's he kept on the same subject. "A woman should cover herself when she comes to Pray to God". He quoted from Corinthians, Leviticus, and Epiphians. I was shocked that the Bible also told women to wear veil when praying, and that she sould cover for respect to her husband.

That was when I decided to study Islam. I studied Islam for over one year. In 1991, June, I made Shahadah. Alhamdulillah, I was guided by several Muslim women from Malaysia.

Alahuakbar! Allah was calling back to Islam. I felt totally at rest when I read the Quran. I can understand what is written. Most of all I can agree with what I read in the Quran.

One year after reverting to Islam, I married a wonderful man from Malaysia. He is my helper when I feel weak. He prays five times a day, reads Quran, and had very strong Iman. Most of all when I don't understand something he tried to explain it to me. Not that I don't understand the Quran, I don't understand the Malaysian language sometimes. Malaysia is also a great place for a Muslim to live. The Ustaz and Ustazah are on the media daily.

Inshallah this will help to motivate the Muslims that might feel weak sometimes. Reverting to Islam and being born Islam is different I would think. Reverts have to find their way back, where as when you are born into Islam you are already "Home".

May Allah Bless you All. Never stop studying about Islam. The Journey is long, but very much worth it.

Walaikumusalam
Siti Khadijah Ruiz Bt. Abdullah
(Keep on the Jihad)

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