Should I call my old boyfriend? -- Psychic & Spiritual Oracle Public Forum

[ Show ]

Support VoyForums

[ Shrink ]

VoyForums Announcement: Programming and providing support for this service has been a labor of love since 1997. We are one of the few services online who values our users' privacy, and have never sold your information. We have even fought hard to defend your privacy in legal cases; however, we've done it with almost no financial support -- paying out of pocket to continue providing the service. Due to the issues imposed on us by advertisers, we also stopped hosting most ads on the forums many years ago. We hope you appreciate our efforts.

Show your support by donating any amount. (Note: We are still technically a for-profit company, so your contribution is not tax-deductible.) PayPal Acct: Feedback:

Donate to VoyForums (PayPal):

[ Login ] [ Contact Forum Admin ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: 1, 2, 3, [4] ]

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Date Posted: 09:59:39 04/19/04 Mon
Author: Betsy
Subject: Should I call my old boyfriend?

I need some advice. I am 22 years old and have been broken up with my first boyfriend (and first love) for over two years. We dated for about 6 years, through high school and college. Although, we grew apart some during our college years because we went to school apart. We each had to "find ourselves" separately and during those crucial years and were unable to grow together. The breakup was painful. We had disagreements now and then, but always made up, and made out, when we had the chance to see each other. The last time we were together, also the last time we slept together, he called me the next day and said he "couldn't do it anymore." Crushed, I have been thinking of him for these past two years. I heard that he had a new girlfriend in graduate school--he even brought her home to meet his family. I have written him a handful of emails telling him that I hope we will be a part of my life again, but he has not responded and I have not pushed. He did email me one night with an "I miss you" message. That threw me for such a loop. I wonder if it was genuine or if he was just feeling sexual.

So here's my dilemma: I am traveling to the city where he lives for a long weekend with some girlfriends. I want to call him. But I might be crushed if he doesn't want to see me or return my calls. I have been dreaming about him and his new girlfriend almost every night for the past couple months. I have so much anxiety about this trip. Part of me wants to show up on his doorstep, part of me wants to try hard to "run into him." I am so scared about how my arrival would be received. I feel cheated of closure. We had taken breaks so many times before that I didn't feel like this was for real. Now, two years later, it feels real, but I miss him still. I wanted to say goodbye. I want him to say goodbye to my face. He could never do it. Instead, he always hid behind phones and now emails.

If I don't contact him while I am visiting the city, then I know I will always wonder, "what if?" But I don't know how I will respond if he wants nothing to do with me--even worse, if I have to see him with his new girlfriend. (I don't know if they are still together, but I suspect they are.) God forbid the day he gets married. I don't think I'll be able to handle it.

On another note, I have not really dated anyone. I've been told that the best way to get over someone is to find someone new. I just compare everyone to him. Not smart enough, not cute enough, not playful enough. He and I just clicked. And now I fear I have lost my soulmate forever.

What do you think? Should I continue to fight for him?

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]