02-03-02 Sat -- 我倆的小小空間

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Subject: 02-03-02 Sat

Author:
Brandy

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Date Posted: 15:45:09 03/01/02 Fri

又是一個星期六的早上,仲係唔慣...好似冥冥之中有所主宰...要我自己個面對--寂靜、寂寞....
都唔算寂莫嘅,話晒本身嘅我都係咁,鐘意自己匿埋,自己做自己嘢,都好嘅,畀番多啲私人時間畀自己,等自己諗清楚自己真正想做乜,想點...

或者畀我發下白日夢都好,諗乜都好....

一個星期六嘅早上,我諗生前嘅你,一定唔會咁早起身~你會陪我一齊迎接每個早晨嗎?

前日收到leo個電話,本身我想今日去探你,但係我知佢要番工,所以諗住遲多一日,點知佢問番我轉頭,問我星期一有冇時間出席你個儀式... 我知道我自己呢一刻仲未能夠真正平伏到自己個心情,雖然已經可以對住其他人有講有笑,好似乜事都冇,或者真正明白我嘅人先至知道心底嘅我仍然一樣--只要我一見到同你有關嘅人,接觸到有關你嘅嘢,我係會決提...尤其係見到ricky,每次見到佢,我都會支持唔到...

我好失敗,跟本面對唔到事實,我知道每個人其實都好渺少...以為可以操控一切,改變一切...根本冇可能,一個事實都接受唔到...有幾巴閉?

我決定出席--即使發生乜事都好,我都想盡最後努力,即使我乜都做唔到,仲要人睇住我--我應承你,我會變得堅強--即使只能在其他人面前,至少...唔好畀人睇少~

我唔想其他人可憐我,根本唔算要...要關心我嘅人--不在...

唉,唔好意思呢,一個仲未瞓醒嘅早上,個人仲'吽'吓'吽'吓咁,都唔知自己想講乜,不如咁啦,等我今日放工番到黎嘅時候,寫番版長篇嘅畀你,好冇?

只得我話事...one man show...

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