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Date Posted: 22:50:30 06/02/05 Thu
Author: LauraBF
Subject: Time, Not Eternity FINAL
In reply to: Laura BF 's message, "Time, Not Eternity 7/8?" on 15:44:41 05/12/05 Thu

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter 8:
Roads
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"When all's said and done, all roads lead to the same end.
So it's not so much which road you take, as how you take it."
--Charles de Lint

~*~*~*~

0130 ZULU
17 NOVEMBER 2004
HARM'S APARTMENT
NORTH OF UNION STATION
WASHINGTON, DC

Mattie curled comfortably into the corner of the couch, journal in hand, waiting for Harm to get home. Jen had offered to let her stay at her place, but she hadn't wanted to do that. She needed to be there for Harm when he got home. It was the whole reason she'd borrowed the truck to get her to Falls Church. Too bad that it had decided not to start after she'd parked it at the loft that morning.

Mattie leaned forward and snagged her journal and a pen from the coffee table. She thought that she'd finally solved her problem when she'd chosen to go back to her father, but the current situation just made her wonder if she'd made the right choice.

"Dear Diary," she wrote. "That still sounds weird to me. Maybe I should just start writing instead. I'm back at Harm's place because, after talking to him, I knew he needed me. I thought I'd figured things out. My dad needed me. He deserted me, and I couldn't desert him after he straightened himself out.

"I don't know how long Harm will need me here. I'm also not sure that I ever want to leave. I mean, I've only been back here for less than a day, but I know that Harm is much more reliable than my dad is. Even when he was called out of town on a case, I could always get in contact with him.

"This isn't fair! I chose, but part of me is whispering that I chose the wrong dad! I know life isn't fair, but this just sucks. Harm would never run away if things got tough. I don't know if I can say that about Tom. Harm would fight for me. Again, I'm not sure if dad would, or if he'd just ignore the situation and hope it went away.

"A lot of people would tell me that I'm incredibly lucky to have two dads that love me. I guess they're right. And I guess this is sorta what kids with divorced parents go through. Part of me wishes that Mom had never died, but another piece of me is, well, not exactly happy, but I wouldn't have Harm if she were still here.

"Sure, my relationship with him isn't exactly the traditional father/daughter one--for one thing biologically, I'm not his kid--but I know he loves me. He's told me more than once that he sees me as his little girl. I wish it were true. If it were, I wouldn't be feeling so torn right now between both my dads. Harm's a lot stronger than Tom is. I've heard stories about some of the stuff he's done that would make your hair curl.

"My dad would've gone on a drinking binge after most of 'em. But Harm's still sober. He refuses to do much of any drinking in front of me, too. When dad was still drunk, he didn't have that problem. And I almost feel like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop; I'm waiting for him to start drinking again.

"I know I hurt Harm when I requested to live with my dad again. But he still loves me and wants me with him. I guess he really wasn't trying to get rid of me last spring. I was happy here, but I feel like I need to give Tom a chance to be my dad again. Is it possible to be dad-sick for a man you've known for only a year? Because I've been missing Harm a lot the past few days."

Before Mattie could write anything more, she heard the rattling jingle of keys being inserted into the lock. She closed her journal and put it on the coffee table. The door swung open, and Harm walked in. "Harm!" Mattie said, jumping up from her place on the couch. She gave him a bear hug, surreptitiously checking him for damage. He'd spent the day with *Mac,* after all, and the marine wasn't on her list of favorite people at the moment.

"Hey, Mattie." Harm said with an easy smile as he returned the hug.

Mattie released him, grabbed his hand and pulled him over to the couch. "Hungry?" she asked. "I ordered pizza for both of us." She gave him a sideways look. "Good thing you didn't change where you put the emergency pizza fund."

Harm tugged one of her curls playfully. "You haven't been gone that long, kiddo. And I was flying quals and trying to keep busy because you weren't here. Hadn't gotten around to doing anything with it yet."

Mattie plopped down on the couch and watched as Harm shrugged out of his overcoat and hung it and his cover up. "Harm," she began hesitantly, "are you okay?" She had just about decided to talk to him about her confusion, but she needed to know if he was all right before she dumped her problems on him.

Harm sat down beside her and gave her a one-armed hug. "Yeah," he smiled. "Mac and I are gonna be friends again." He was silent for a few moments. "I've missed that."

Mattie snuggled into his side. "So what about the investigation?" she asked.

"Mats, we don't know anything yet--Meg and Kate are still looking into it," he explained.

"I'm staying until it's over," she informed him. "I won't leave you alone."

Harm kissed the top of Mattie's head. "As long as you go to school and we get permission from Tom, it's okay with me," he said as he gave her a squeeze.

Mattie looked up at him and bit her lip. "Harm?"

"Yeah, Mattie?" he answered.

"Maybe I made a mistake going with my dad. Maybe I should've stayed with you." She took a deep breath and tried to quell the butterflies that were fluttering in her stomach.

Harm released her and turned so that he could see her. "What's the matter?' he asked softly. "Is something wrong at your house?"

Mattie started playing with the sleeve of her blue sweatshirt. "No-o-o-o-o-o, not exactly," she admitted. "I just don't know! I mean, he's my dad, but I don't know if I can really depend on him, and you're my dad too, and you need me and he needs me, and I don't know what to do!" She paused to take a deep breath. "If I stay with him, I'm betraying you, and if I stay with you, I'm betraying him." She bit her lip and fell silent.

"You're not betraying me by wanting to live with your dad, Mattie," Harm said. "I knew when I finally got you that you might go back to live with him." He offered her a small smile. "I will always be here for you when you need me. It doesn't matter if I get transferred to Outer Mongolia; I'll always have a place for you to run to because you *are* my daughter."

A single tear escaped and rolled down her cheek. "Really?" she said.

"Yes," Harm answered. He smiled at her, then wiped the tear away with gentle fingers. "My only regret is that you weren't mine from the beginning of your life."

Mattie threw her arms around him and hugged him, hard. "You've been here when I needed you," she said. "That's enough. I love you, Dad."

"Good," was his simple answer. He hugged her back and laid his cheek on her hair.

"So if Tom leaves again, or I decide that I'm better off with you, I can come back?" she asked.

"Always," was his answer. "And I'll pay for your flying lessons, if you still want them, and take you up in Sarah every weekend that we've got good weather and I don't have duty."

Mattie buried her face in his jacket and let loose a slightly watery sigh. She had two homes and one would always be wherever Harm was. He was her dad just as much as Tom was, and she never wanted to let go.

~*~*~*~

1501 ZULU
20 NOVEMBER 2004
JAG HEADQUARTERS
FALLS CHURCH, VIRGINIA

Kate frowned as she studied the folder in front of her. "Did you call and get the name of the guy who hired Jim to change the book?" she asked.

Meg sighed and barely refrained from rolling her eyes; Kate had been sitting with her when she called. "Yeah. He said that the guy's name is Caleb Parker."

Kate raised an eyebrow. "Why do I get the feeling that 'Caleb Parker' isn't this guy's real name?"

"I don't know," Meg said with a shrug. "Maybe because what's-his-name didn't have *any* other information about him?"

Kate scowled. "Yes he did, remember? He gave us a description."

Meg snorted. "Some description. A tall, thin, white man with dark hair and blue eyes. That fits what? About a million people?"

"We don't have much to go on, that's for sure," Kate said, her scowl deepening.

Meg took a step back and bumped into a solid, warm body. She turned around and knocked the stack of papers the person was carrying to the ground. "Excuse me," she looked up and smiled. "Sorry about that Commander Roberts, I didn't mean to knock into you."

Bud leaned over and started to pick up the scattered papers. "My fault, Commander," he said with a grin. "I should have been watching where I was going."

Meg crouched down and started to help retrieve the files. She stopped when she picked up an internet print out. "What's this?" she asked.

Bud glanced over and started to blush. "It's from a site about dumb laws," he said, his face turning a deeper red.

"Dumb laws, huh?" Kate walked over and looked at the paper Meg was holding. "Wait a minute--what's that about North Carolina marriage laws?"

Meg read the sheet of paper again. "It says here that if a couple signs into a hotel as a married couple, then they're married."

Kate and Meg exchanged a glance. "They were set up," Kate said.

Meg nodded and stood up. "That's obvious; what isn't is why."

Bud grabbed the last sheet of paper, straightened up, put the stack on the desk, and dusted his hands off. "What do you know about who was responsible?" he asked curiously.

Kate scowled again. "He was going by, 'Caleb Parker,' he's tall, and thin with dark hair and blue eyes."

"Have you checked out Clark Palmer yet? He fits the description and he's had it in for Commander Rabb for years." Bud neatened up the stack of paper and settled it in the crook of his arm. "It's not much of a stretch to think that he'd go after Colonel Mackenzie--she's been the Commander's partner for a long time."

"Who's Clark Palmer?" Meg asked.

Bud shrugged. "He's an ex-DSD agent that the Commander put in Leavenworth. He's tried to kill Commander Rabb more than once." He looked at his watch. "If you two will excuse me, I've got a meeting with a client." He flashed them a smile and headed towards his office.

"It makes sense," Meg said slowly. "If this Clark Palmer hates Harm enough--"

"He could have arranged this a long time ago and was just waiting for the right time," Kate finished.

"Too bad we can't prove it," Meg said with a grimace. "The contents of the envelope were clean; the only prints they found on them belong to the General."

"What about the envelope?" Kate asked. "I haven't had a chance to look over the report yet."

Meg shook her head. "It was postmarked in Phoenix," she said. "There are too many different prints, and almost all of them are smudged."

Kate pulled a sheet of paper out of a nearby folder. "The stamp was self-adhesive, and there wasn't any DNA on the flap, either."

"I hate it when we can't prove who did something," Meg grumbled.

"So do I," Kate admitted. "But we can prove that Harm and Colonel Mackenzie aren't responsible."

"I'll finish writing up the report," Meg said. "Then we can go tell the General and go home."

Kate raised an eyebrow and smirked slightly. "What? Missing Steve already?"

Meg crossed her arms over her chest. "I've gotten used to the big hot water bottle," she said, wrinkling her nose. "It's hard to sleep without him."

"I bet it's," Kate paused. "Hard to do other things without him either."

"Kate!" Meg protested as she felt heat rise to her face.

Kate shrugged and grinned. "My fiancé is waiting for me, too," she reminded her. "And he was out of town when I left, too."

"Let's go get this done so we can clear Harm," Meg said. She grabbed the case file and headed towards the conference room where their laptops had been set up. While they couldn't prove who did it, at least they'd cleared their old partner. Half a loaf was much better than none. And once they saw the General, the majority of the mess would be cleaned up without ruining two people's lives.

~*~*~*~
1833 ZULU
30 NOVEMBER 2005
JAG HEADQUARTERS
FALLS CHURCH, VIRGINIA

Mac hit the print button and waited impatiently as the printer started up. She was glad that they'd gotten back and that the paperwork was done, but she wanted the upcoming meeting with the General to be over. She glanced across her desk to see Harm rubbing his eyes.

"Are you okay?" she asked, knowing that he'd taken Mattie back to her father the night before.

Harm looked up at her, a tiny smile on his face. "I guess," he said. "I knew that her coming back wasn't permanent."

Mac gave him a crooked smile. "She loves you, you know--the chewing out she gave me last week was almost worthy of the Admiral."

Harm simply nodded. Mac pulled the sheets out of the printer tray and neatened them up. "Let's ask Coates if the General can fit us in," he suggested.

Mac nodded. "Yeah." She frowned slightly. "I'm going to miss working together; we don't get the chance to do that very often anymore.

Harm shot her a big grin. "That's what comes with rank and seniority. Maybe we should... work together tonight."

"Red light, Commander."

Harm pretended to be hurt. "Seriously, dinner tonight at my place?" he asked.

"It all depends," Mac began. "On if we're cleared; you know as well as I that spending time together outside of work is off-limits unless the fraternization charges get dismissed."

Harm grimaced. "I know. Let's go see General Cresswell and find out if he's got any new information for us." He stood up and turned towards the door. Together, the two of them walked out of her office, across the bullpen, and into Jen's office.

"Is the General free?" Mac asked.

"Sir, Ma'am," Jen said with a smile. She pressed down on the intercom. "Sir, Colonel Mackenzie and Commander Rabb are here to see you."

"Send them in," the General's voice said.

"He's waiting," she said, gesturing towards the door.

Harm walked to the door, opened it, and held it open for Mac. They entered the office and came to attention in front of General Cresswell's desk.

Cresswell looked up from the report he'd been reading. "At ease. Report."

Mac stepped forward and handed him a file containing the paperwork from their investigation. "Sir, while Lieutenant Meecham did hit Commander Saunders, Commander Saunders provoked him into it."

"We're recommending non-judicial punishment for Lieutenant Meecham and that Commander Saunders at least face a Captain's Mast." Harm said.

"We have witnesses that will testify that he continually provoked the Lieutenant, even offering death threats against his family because of their religion." Mac explained.

Cresswell perused the file for a few minutes, then closed it and put it on his desk. He gave the duo a sharp nod. "Good. Now, there's the matter of the fraternization charges that the two of you will *not* be facing. Commander Pike and Commander Austin have proved sufficiently that the two of you were set up."

"Thank you, sir," Harm said.

"Don't thank me yet, Commander. I'll make sure that the false marriage is taken care of and *then* you can thank me. Dismissed."

Harm and Mac came to attention then left the General's office. Harm closed the door behind him and smiled at Mac. "So... dinner at my place tonight?"

Mac's smile answered his. "Sure. 2130?"

"Sounds good to me," Harm responded. "I've got to go talk to Sturgis about a plea bargain in the Peterson case." He turned and started walking towards Sturgis's office.

"See you later," Mac said. Perhaps it was time for another talk, she thought. Perhaps they could talk out a few things at dinner that night.

~*~*~*~

0130 ZULU
30 NOVEMBER 2005
HARM'S APARTMENT
NORTH OF UNION STATION
WASHINGTON, DC

Harm finished the conversation with AJ and hung up the phone. He'd fixed the truck and, with Jen's help, taken Mattie home the night before, giving her reassurances that he would always need her in his life. It was still sort of weird to him that, despite wanting to live with her father, she still loved him and thought of him as her dad.

He'd never really believed that he'd get to keep Mattie forever; in a way, however, he supposed that he did. No matter who she lived with, he was still her dad. Harm walked into the kitchen, pulled on his lobster hot mitts, and stirred the sauce that was simmering on the stove. Mac was coming over and could show up at any time.

"It's open," he called when he heard a knock on the door. He heard the door open, then close, and the soft chuff of a bag hitting the ground.

Without turning around, he listened to her footsteps as she crossed the apartment and stopped behind him. His eyes started to close as her soft hand crept up to his shoulder. He'd told her once that he always knew where she was; that was still true. "Mac," he said quietly.

Her hand squeezed his shoulder briefly. "Harm, um, can we wait for dinner?"

Harm put the lid on the spaghetti sauce, turned the heat off, and turned around. "Sure," he said. "Mac, what's the matter?" he asked.

Mac's hand slid down his arm and grasped his lobster-covered hand. "Nuthin', I just, kind of want to talk," she said softly.

"Okay," he said. Harm followed her lead as she gently tugged his hand as she started towards the couch. They'd done a lot of talking in the past week, and were well on their way to reacquiring the friendship they'd once shared.

Mac sat down on the couch and patted the seat next to her. Harm pulled off the lobster mitts, dropped them on the coffee table, and sat down next to her. "Are you okay, Mac?" he asked. "I've never known you to not want to eat."

"I'm *fine*," she said, giving him a small frown. "I've just been thinking... I mean, now that our sham marriage has been taken care of, well, I was thinking that it wouldn't be so bad to be married to you."

Harm grabbed her hand and gently tugged her close to him. He put an arm around her and was gratified when she leaned into the half-embrace. "No, it wouldn't be bad to be married to you," he said, as he laid his cheek against her hair. "I think it'd be amazing, in fact."

Mac leaned into him more, curling up on the couch next to him. "I haven't been sleeping again lately," she said softly. "I've been thinking of going back to see the shrink that the Admiral sent me to."

"If you'll think it'll help, Mac, then I think you should--"

"I'm going to ask her for something to help me sleep," Mac interrupted.

Harm tightened his hold on her. "I'll support you, Marine, whatever you decide to do."

"I know," she said.

Harm kissed the top of her head, enjoying the way she felt in his arms. He didn't know what would happen next, but with Mac in his life, he knew that he could face it; they could face it--together.

End.

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Replies:

[> [> Very nice. So does Harm get to keep the money? -- M, 21:38:52 06/04/05 Sat


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[> [> [> What money? There wasn't any money.... -- LauraBF, 00:24:01 06/05/05 Sun


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[> [> [> [> "He'd been amassing funds under Harmon Rabb's name for years" from Clark Palmer. -- M, 00:35:30 06/05/05 Sun


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[> [> [> [> [> Ah. Harm doesn't know it exists. It's a swiss account, so the only person that we know of that knows about it is Palmer. -- LauraBF, 10:12:58 06/05/05 Sun


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[> [> Another good story. Can't wait until your next one. Which will be soon, right? -- MJ, 17:30:09 06/05/05 Sun


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[> [> [> Yep. I'm not yet sure if it'll be a series of missing scenes or a long story, but I'm working on "Revisionist History" to give we shippers the scenes that *should* have been in season ten but weren't. Considering that we never really saw Harm and Mac even talking on a personal level much in the latter half of season ten, the proposal was almost out of the blue. I intend to rectify the situation. -- LauraBF (who got this idea that won't leave her alone.), 21:28:00 06/06/05 Mon


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