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Wed, Apr 22 2026, 11:13:24 [ Login ] [ Contact Forum Admin ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: [1], 2, 3 ]

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Date Posted: Sun, May 20 2001, 0:20:06
Author: steve
Subject: Police Reports

Police Reports

The following are copies of ACTUAL written statements
submitted to the police on report forms. (Or at least
they claim to be ACTUAL statements. You be the judge.)
The drivers were instructed to give a brief statement
on the particulars of the accident in their own words.

Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided
with a tree I don't know.

I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my
Mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.

The gentleman behind me struck me on the backside. He
then went to rest in the bush with just his rear end
showing.

In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone
pole.

I had been driving my car for forty years when I fell
asleep at the wheel and had an accident.

An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my vehicle
and vanished.

The pedestrian had no idea which direction to go, so I
ran over him.

I saw the slow moving, sad faced old gentleman as he
bounced off the hood of my car.

The guy was all over the road, I had to swerve a number
of times before I hit him.

To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I
struck the pedestrian.

I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the
other side of the roadway when I struck him.

My girlfriend kissed me. I lost control and woke up in
the hospital.

When I saw I could not avoid a collision I stepped on
the gas and crashed into the other car.

As I approached the intersection, a stop sign suddenly
appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever
appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid
the accident.

The indirect cause of this accident was a little guy in
a small car with a big mouth.

I collided with a stationary truck coming the other
way.

I told the police that I was not injured, but on
removing my hat, I found that I had fractured my skull.

I thought I could squeeze between two trucks when my
car became squashed.

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