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Wed, Apr 22 2026, 12:11:13 [ Login ] [ Contact Forum Admin ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: 1, [2], 3 ]

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Date Posted: Tue, Aug 01 2000, 10:57:17
Author: TheRunaway
Subject: 2 Million

One boring afternoon, Saddam Hussein was sitting in his office
wondering
whom to invade when his telephone rang.

"Hello Mr Hussein," a heavily accented voice says, " This is Paddy
down in
Dundalk, Ireland. I am ringing to inform you that I am officially
declaring
war on you!!"

"Well, Paddy," Saddam replies "This indeed is important news! Tell me,
how
big is your army?"

"At this moment in time," says Paddy after a moment's calculation
"there is
myself, my cousin Sean, my next door neighbour Gerry and the entire
darts
team from the pub - That makes 8!"

Saddam sighs and says "I must tell you Paddy that I have 1 million men
in my
army waiting to move on my word"

"Oh sh**" says Paddy "I'll have to ring you back!"

Sure enough, the next day Paddy rings back.
"Right Mr Hussein, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire
some
equipment!"

"What equipment would that be, Paddy?" Saddam asks.

"Well, we have 2 combine harvesters, a bulldozer and Murphy's tractor
from
the farm"

Once more Saddam sighs and says "I must tell you Paddy that I have 16
thousand tanks, 2 thousand mine layers, 14 thousand armoured cars and
my
army has increased to 1 and a half million since we last spoke"

"Feck me!" says Paddy "I'll have to ring you back!"

Sure enough, Paddy rings again the next day.

"Right Mr Hussein, the war is still on! We have managed to get
ourselves
airborne! We've kitted out old Ted's cropsprayer with a couple of
rifles in
the cockpit and the bridge team has joined us as well!"

Once more Saddam sighs and says "I must tell you Paddy that I have 10
thousand bombers and 20 thousand Mig 29 high manoeuvrability attack
planes
and my military complex is surrounded by laser guided surface to air
missile
sites and since we last spoke, my army has increased to 2 million"

"Oh b*ll*cks" says Paddy "I'll have to ring you back"

Sure enough, Paddy calls again the next day.

"Right Mr Hussein, I am sorry to tell you that we have had to call off
the
war"

"I'm very sorry to hear that" says Saddam "Why the sudden change of
heart?"

"Well," says Paddy "We've all had a chat and there's no way we can
deal with
2 million prisoners"

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