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Wed, Apr 22 2026, 18:22:29 [ Login ] [ Contact Forum Admin ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: 1, 2, [3] ]

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Date Posted: Wed, Aug 02 2000, 1:11:23
Author: Steve
Subject: Early Retirement ...

Early Retirement ...

The Pentagon recently found it had too many generals
and offered an early retirement bonus. They promised
any general who retired straight away his full annual
benefits plus $10,000 for every inch measured in a
straight line between any two points on the general's
body, with the general getting to select any pair of
points he wished.

The first man, an Air Force general, accepted. He asked
the pension man to measure from the top of his head to
the tip of his toes. Six feet, he walked out with a
check of $720,000.

The second man, an Army general, asked them to measure
from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes.
Eight feet, he walked out with a check for $960,000.

When the third general, a grizzled old Marine, was
asked where to measure, he told the pension man: "From
the tip of my penis to the bottom of my testicles."

The pension man suggested that perhaps the Marine
general might like to reconsider, pointing out the nice
checks the previous two generals had received.

The Marine insisted and the pension expert said that
would be fine but that he'd better get the medical
officer to do the measuring. The medical officer
attended and asked the general to drop 'em. He did. The
medical officer placed the tape on the tip of the
general's penis and began to work back.

"My God!" he said. "Where are your testicles?"

The general replied, "In Vietnam."

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