suddenly nothing matters anymore... -- Library

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Date Posted: 23:16:57 06/17/02 Mon
Author: ginny weasley
Subject: suddenly nothing matters anymore...

Blank sapphire eyes gaze out of their prisons from her mental situation of being so far from the rest of humanity, so lost from where she�s supposed to be. If this certain predicament of the completely shattered youth hadn�t been quite as tragic as it is, what with herself finally finding peace, only to have it snatched away once she got a taste of it�once it was ensured that she would desire more, it would have been a laughable affair. It was the classic girl loves boy but is denied�the type of romance story where the girl would eventually find happiness with the boy that she loves. Unfortunately, life is not a storybook and therefore existing suddenly just seems like a necessity, just like being well behaved or doing homework and receiving average grades, something that you hate to do at times, but keep on doing it because you are afraid of being chided by everyone else, and because you are afraid of failing even if giving up seems to be the easiest way out and the only way to escape from eternal torment.

Frail form beneath well worn yet meticulously cared for robes trembles, and the cloth that has grown a bit baggy for her figure that has lost considerable weight instead of gained like it should in the change from child to adult shifts with her every movement. Her complexion is as pale as a ghost, and she has obtained a slight limp from the sprained ankle that she got in the attempt to catch up to the fleeing girl to repair Harry�s life�the life that she had ruined by letting him into her heart. Fingers cling to her elbows and her arms make a crisscrossing �design� over her well covered mid drift, creating another layer and an unconscious shield against everybody else, almost saying �leave me alone� with her very body language. Shoulder length locks of ginger fall into a glimmering pool of curls at her shoulders, showing that even in the endless existence of pain and agony, she is still able to keep herself well kempt and that somehow she will survive.

Fingertips brush against several spines of books, gently caressing each as though they hold a treasure that would never be found because nobody cares to look. Sober expression is worn upon her fa�ade even though deep inside she�s screaming, screaming because her soul is drowning and gradually giving up hope of being rescued from the overwhelming emotions and thoughts that circulate through her with a dizzying force, almost as though she is seeking to destroy the one part of her that is keeping her sane. She has no point to be in the library, no books that she intends to read, and nothing that she needs to find�but it�s a place to hide from the rest of the world, a place to camp out and remain safe from whatever evils the world tries to do with her and whatever injustices that she would have had to face in any other hell. I never dreamed reality could be so far away. She thinks to herself bitterly as she descends upon her knees, and to the untrained eye she could look like she is looking for a book in a lower shelf, but one that bothered to look a bit closer would be able to tell the truth�she is admitting her destruction to the one whose opinion only matters. Herself.

(if anyone thinks about replying, you probably shouldn�t. it�s not worth it�.i don�t know when i�ll be back online, but until then i�ll *gasp* be inactive�sooo, yeah. good luck to you all and happy role-playing. *forces a smile and vanishes*)

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Replies:

when was anything worth it.... -- kern, 05:00:14 06/21/02 Fri