Heed the Word of Baz -- Physics and Engineering Physics

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Date Posted: 03:33:25 08/31/00 Thu
Author: Baz
Subject: Heed the Word of Baz

So after over a year of fighting and struggling I have finally surcome to the invincible foe that is the real world. Yes yes. You heard it here first. The "Baz", the truly inspirational procrastinator/lazy bum, has fallen prey to the lures of Ottawa, specifically JDSU. *sigh*

While I have fallen I hope that others will learn from my life's work.

1) Mind over matter. Forget the laws of physics, with the proper training and practise you CAN be in more than one place at a time. You can be attending class, sleeping in the lounge, and eating at Al's, all at the same time! I have experienced such wonders......come to think of it that may have just been caffine induced halucinations. *shrug*

2) Delay the inevidable. You don't need to jump right into work. Be a bum. See the world. Sustain yourself on a diet of slurpees and kraft dinner. Do less in a week than those army guys do before 8am. You too can do it. I have learned by first hand experience that the only limit that applies to this is the Chandrasekhar limit. That is when the mass of your collection of PFO (Please F**k Off) letters exceeds this limit you must take a job or risk creation of a black hole that will swallow the entire earth and extinguish all life as we know it!!!!!!

3) Get outta of the physics basement once in a while. That huge emitter of white light that you see out the windows is not an abomination. It is the SUN (the complete details of this are beyond the scope of this text, for more information see "A Brief History of Time"). Get out there even if it is only to do the solar lab experiment!

4) Reduce walking friction and save the deteriorating physics building floors. Wear slippers (bunny?) instead of shoes.

5) Serway. Learn it. Love it. Live it.

6) Remember that answers in real life never ever factor down to 2Pi. Real things can never be assume to be spherical. And the phrase "For all intents and purposes" only applies until it doesn't apply anymore. Physics is a state of mind. Be one with the equation! Carpe Physics! Er.......ok nevermind, I'm not entirely sure where I was going with that one. (Don't worry my therapist assures me that I will fully recover).

So there you have it. For those of you still trapped in the physics basement, heed my words of wisdom and go forth and multiply....and divide, etc (sorry bad pun). For those of you in the real world (specifically Ottawa) be warned. Here comes the BAZ!

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If you appreciated this advise please forward all donations to the "Pay Baz's Excessive Student Loans" fund care of Me.
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