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Date Posted: 19:30:20 04/09/02 Tue
Author: Lafaux
Subject: Girls Caught In The Catty Corner (click)





Girls' friendships show aggression at younger ages

By Nanci Hellmich, USA TODAY

Katy Montague's seventh-grade year was a girl's worst nightmare. She was excluded from parties, lunch table groups, conversations and cliques. She was teased and taunted about her looks and her glasses. She was treated this way by "the meanest people I ever met, and they were all girls," says Montague of St. Louis.


"There was a lot of plotting and scheming behind people's backs. It was horrible. I don't remember anything I learned that year."

But there was a silver lining: She met her best friend during this trying time. "We do almost everything together. She's always there for me," says Montague, now 17.

Montague's experience mirrors that of millions of girls across the country as they make their way through the often painful passage of adolescence. Out of this pain often comes strength of character and genuine friendships, but while it's happening, a girl's life can be total misery. Now some behavior experts are doing research to try to understand this phenomenon. And while they realize they may not be able to — and perhaps shouldn't — totally change it, there may be ways to help girls get through it with fewer scars.

Experts use the term "relational aggression" to describe the cattiness, meanness and nastiness that happens between some people, but especially among girls.

Girls may gossip, spread malicious rumors, write nasty e-mails, give the silent treatment, exclude people from social events, betray secrets, snicker about someone's clothes or mannerisms behind their backs. They may tell a girl that they're not going to be friends with her unless she does what they want.

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Replies:

[> And they needed to do a study to figure that out! -- CC, 20:05:47 04/09/02 Tue

>
>
>
>
>Girls' friendships show aggression at younger ages
>
>By Nanci Hellmich, USA TODAY
>
>Katy Montague's seventh-grade year was a girl's worst
>nightmare. She was excluded from parties, lunch table
>groups, conversations and cliques. She was teased and
>taunted about her looks and her glasses. She was
>treated this way by "the meanest people I ever met,
>and they were all girls," says Montague of St. Louis.
>
>
>"There was a lot of plotting and scheming behind
>people's backs. It was horrible. I don't remember
>anything I learned that year."
>
>But there was a silver lining: She met her best friend
>during this trying time. "We do almost everything
>together. She's always there for me," says Montague,
>now 17.
>
>Montague's experience mirrors that of millions of
>girls across the country as they make their way
>through the often painful passage of adolescence. Out
>of this pain often comes strength of character and
>genuine friendships, but while it's happening, a
>girl's life can be total misery. Now some behavior
>experts are doing research to try to understand this
>phenomenon. And while they realize they may not be
>able to — and perhaps shouldn't — totally change it,
>there may be ways to help girls get through it with
>fewer scars.
>
>Experts use the term "relational aggression" to
>describe the cattiness, meanness and nastiness that
>happens between some people, but especially among
>girls.
>
>Girls may gossip, spread malicious rumors, write nasty
>e-mails, give the silent treatment, exclude people
>from social events, betray secrets, snicker about
>someone's clothes or mannerisms behind their backs.
>They may tell a girl that they're not going to be
>friends with her unless she does what they want.


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