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Date Posted: 17:17:03 01/18/04 Sun
Author: Tiger
Subject: I think Im in love with my best friend

I am so confused. I really would appreciate someone talkin to me, cause i cant talk to anyone i personally know about this subject. I am 18 years old, female, and i always assumed i was straight. I was attracted to guys and all that..had bfs and im attracted to them. But i also have a best friend, this girl..she's straight, has had TONS of boyfriends, and the thing is we're VERY VERY CLOSE.like sisters. We're so close that I cant hide anythin from her. But theres one thing she doesnt know, is that im madly in love with her. Or so I think! We talk for hours, spend time together, and everytime shes talking to me i think about kissing her and hugging her and holding her. I want to take away all her pain, when she tells me shes in pain, when her boyfriend hurts her. When she touches me, i feel something tingles, i feel like im holding myself back from touching her. I dont want to ever lose her, shes my only true best friend. ANd i do know that she would freak out if i told her this, she would walk away. shes the type who would just walk away without explaining, because shes afraid of pain and hurting herself and others. we;re so close, that its getting to be really hard to be with her , around her, when i have these feelings. i feel like im lying to her , like im guilty..she keeps telling me that i hide things from her, that im not an open book, i laugh and say ofcourse not. but the subject of lesbians and bis doesnt appeal to her, at times when the subject is brought up when we are with other friends..she says that its disgusting to be attracted to the same sex. When i heard that, it killed, cause i hated myself for being "disgusting" in her eyes. Or if i ever WAS disgusting,if she ever found out. I dont know wat to do, im not even sure if i like her that way..I am straight but shes the only girl ..i mean the only PERSOn..thats ever made me feel this way. It scares me. What also is really scaring me is that she is so close that at times she reads my mind completely..and half the time she knows wat im thinking. I feel that if thats the case, she might see it in me one day and will run away. I dont know wat to do about it..and I dont even know if havin these thoughts and feelings about her means i love her..PLEASE HElP by atleast tellin me wat u think..I really need help..i need ppl who wont judge harshly.

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