The Prison Workout -- HOME OF THE SF MASHER

[ Show ]

Support VoyForums

[ Shrink ]

VoyForums Announcement: Programming and providing support for this service has been a labor of love since 1997. We are one of the few services online who values our users' privacy, and have never sold your information. We have even fought hard to defend your privacy in legal cases; however, we've done it with almost no financial support -- paying out of pocket to continue providing the service. Due to the issues imposed on us by advertisers, we also stopped hosting most ads on the forums many years ago. We hope you appreciate our efforts.

Show your support by donating any amount. (Note: We are still technically a for-profit company, so your contribution is not tax-deductible.) PayPal Acct: Feedback:

Donate to VoyForums (PayPal):

[ Login ] [ Contact Forum Admin ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: 1 ]

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Date Posted: 14:33:26 04/17/02 Wed
Author: The SF Masher
Subject: The Prison Workout

THE PRISON WORKOUT
By the SF Masher.

Do you want to get in good shape, but at the same time avoid paying an over priced gym membership fee and all of the other bullshit hassles that goes along with it? Here is a simple plan that I invented, which you follow for an hour and a half a day, only three days a week. Plus, it�s completely free and you can expect to see phenomenal results in a matter of weeks (that is if you stick with it). Many great athletes such as Hershal Walker and Bo Jackson believed these workouts to prove better results than going to gyms.

1. Push-Ups: This should be the first exercise in your workout. Start of by doing either 100-150 push-ups in sets of 25. By doing push-ups you are working out your chest, shoulders, triceps and biceps all at once. although there is many variations of push-ups, start off by doing them with your hands at shoulder length apart to ensure that you�re doing them correctly and once you have this method down you can start doing different variations of them. Note: It�s important to keep your buttock�s up and your back straight to get the best results. After doing your push-ups, take a ten minute break, stretch and drink as much water as you can. This will give your swollen muscles a chance to rest and fill up with water. Drinking water is important because that�s how your muscles build. Remember, our bodies are made up of 80% water, so the more water you drink, the more muscle mass you�ll obtain.

2. Pull-Ups: I know that many of you reading this do not have access to a pull-up bar at home, but don�t worry because either do I. I came up with an invention that actually works better than a regular pull-up bar by utilizing the door frame of any entrance way in your house. Simply take a pair of old socks and fold them in half to use as your gloves (it hurts like hell if you use your bare hands and you will get some crazy blisters too, so using the socks is highly recommended). Next, you grip each side of the door frame with one hand on each side of the frame and pull up from side to side. Pull your body weight up on the left or right side all the way up until your neck is even with the top of the door frame. Continue doing this and rotating sides each time. Try and do five sets of ten. This now puts the finishing touches on the sculpting of your chest and shoulders. Pull-ups also primarily work out your upper back and secondary work out your biceps and triceps too. You should be feeling nicely swollen if you�ve made it this far.

3. Tricep Dips: This exercise will put the finishing touches on the sculpting of your tricep muscles and have you begging for mercy. Simply take two kitchen chairs and spread them about four to four and one half feet apart from each other. Balance your palms on the seat of one of the chairs, while gripping the edge of the seat with your fingers. Then, balance both of your feet on the other chair and dip down and then up. The motion is like doing a reverse push-up. This exercise works really good and you�ll feel the effects immediately if done properly. Note: It is important to hold your buttocks up while doing this exercise, so you don�t end up hurting yourself. Try and do three sets of twenty if possible, but if not, just do as many as you can. After completing this exercise, your triceps are finished and it�s now time to move on to the next workout.

4. Biceps and Forearms: The workout gets tricky here and you really need to use your imagination to come up with a devise that will get the job done right for you. I use a dirty laundry bag filled to capacity with old skateboard shirts, jeans, blankets and cans of food. I think the bag weighs about seventy odd pounds now (give or take a few). After you have the fillings mashed down into the bag as much as possible, tie a knot in the top, then slide a broomstick through the space underneath the knot and you now have a perfect curl bar-"prison style". It helps to break, or saw the broomstick in half so that you have more stability when you curl. Now that you have your bag all set up, it�s time to curl. Try and do three sets of twenty for starters. Remember, when curling, you don�t bring your arms all the way down, just bring them a little bit below halfway and then back up to the top of your chest. After doing three sets of twenty, do five more sets in repetitions of ten. This exercise works out both your biceps and forearms at the same time. Gripping the broomstick tightly while curling works at your forearms and in time, will give you those Popeye forearms. After your arms are burning and swollen, it�s time to move on to step two to the bicep workout.

5. Biceps Cont.: This exercise will turn the bulk muscle created from curling the dirty laundry bag into nicely defined cuts. First, empty or drink two, two gallon jugs of milk, rinse them out and fill them up with sand from the beach, or any other place that you know of where to get sand at. After you�ve filled the containers up with sand, ductape the tops of them, so that when you�re curling the sand doesn�t start flying out all over the place. Curl the jugs as you would two dumbbells. By doing this, you are defining the cuts of your muscles. Try and do between five to ten sets of these curls in repetitions of ten and your arm workout is compete. If done properly, you'll begin to see the results within weeks.

6. Cardiovascular: Now that you have worked out your upper body completely, it�s now time to do your cardiovascular workout. This is the only workout where you might need to invest a few dollars on a jump rope; however, I stole one from the elementary school next door, so if you live near a school or playground do some scouting around first and see what you can come up with. Also, you can always just purchase a long piece of rope from the hardware store and cut it to size. But buying a long piece of rope might cost the same as an actual jump rope does anyway. Jump rope for a half hour straight while listening to music or watching TV and the cardiovascular part of your workout is complete and your heart will be thankful.

7. Legs: If you don�t skateboard (or aren�t active in any other sports in which you primarily use your legs) that often anymore like myself, then you might want to consider this workout, so you don�t become unbalanced and top heavy. Find a set of stairs (20 or more) near your house and run up and down them as many times as possible. Do it until your legs feel like Jell-O and you are about to buckle at the knees and collapse. Running the stairs works out almost every muscle in your legs and believe me, you will most definitely be feeling it in the morning. I skateboarded for twelve years and never once were my legs as sore as they were after doing this exercise for the first time. After you have finished running the stairs, balance yourself on one of the stairs and do as many calf raises as you possibly can. No matter how many times you run the stairs or do the calf raises, I guarantee you�ll feel it every time the following morning. After you�ve finished, remember to stretch your legs out.

Finally, your workout is complete! Pat yourself on the back, because you did a damn good job if you made it all the way through the entire workout. It is now time to stretch, drink water and eat. Go have a burger and a milkshake, or anything else you may desire that has a good source of protein in it. Remember, protein and water makes the muscles build and before you know it you�ll be looking like a mean, lean savage. Now go out there and get that bully who pestered you and your friends in high school.

GOOD LUCK!

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Replies:

Re: The Prison Workout -- tbone (happy), 12:47:16 10/20/06 Fri