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Date Posted: 11:33:51 04/10/02 Wed
Author: Steve Herschbach
Subject: MORE ON ULTIMATE GOLD DETECTOR!
In reply to: Steve Herschbach 's message, "Steve H. Annouces New Gold Detector!" on 11:29:34 04/10/02 Wed

Unbelievable as this new detector may seem, all who know me know I would never joke about a subject so serious to us all!! Everything I am stating is the absolute, honest, and unvarnished truth (except for some small details being witheld to protect our investments).

The phones are ringing off the hooks!! The wise consumer has already realized this NEW Gold Detector WILL MAKE THEM RICH!!! The dreams of a life-time are within your reach... order now!!

There are, of course, many questions pouring in about what we are now calling the ULTIMATE GOLD DETECTOR. Our Legal Department has reported that some people have imagined some similarity between our new detectors original name and the name another detector. Although any knowledgeable person knows this accusation is totally false, the Marketing Department supports the name change as a way to remind other detector manufacturers that further attempts at competition are futile. This is - The ULTIMATE GOLD DETECTOR!!!

Some skeptics have wondered how we can make such a fantastic claim. After making appropriate consultations I have been authorized to release the following information exclusively to the readers of The Nuggetshooters Forum.

This new detector has been under development in our secret labs for many years. Admittedly, many of the concepts are obvious even to the layman. But the technical difficulties of simultaneous operation at multiple frequencies with multiple search coils at extremely high power levels held the project in check for many years.

A fantastic break finally occurred when a field operative working out of Roswell, New Mexico found remnants of strange circuitry while testing our prototype unit. As only our prototype could have found this deeply buried target it is somehow fitting that it revealed the secret of how to manufacture The ULTIMATE GOLD DETECTOR!!

Our research team were able to unlock the secrets of this advanced circuitry before it was whisked away by government operatives in black helicopters. For many years people have wondered about the so-called flying saucers. It took the minds of serious detectorists to recognize these objects for what they really are... flying searchcoils!!!!

Aliens beings from other planets are far more advanced than we have realized. Apparently they are all avid metal detector users!! Their detectors have advanced to the point where the searchcoils employed are so massive that antigravity had to be developed to enable the coils to be moved over the ground. The sizes became such that the obvious solution was to enclose the control panel WITHIN the coil!! They flying searchcoil was born!!

With such incredible technology at their disposal these advanced detectorists from another planet soon found everything worth detecting on their own planet and they branched out across the galaxy in search of new finds. One such explorer found his/her/its way to Roswell, New Mexico. And there, an unfortunate incident occurred when a U.S. Government Official tried to explain our laws regarding metal detecting to the visiting detectorist. The illogical rules caused a horrible feedback loop to occur in the alien detector technology and the flying searchcoil was almost totally destroyed in a tremendous explosion. No one knows what happened to the hapless alien, but he/she/it is rumored to be residing near Redmond, Washington bent on a quest to dominate this planet.

I apologize for the length of this explanation, but it is important for other detector manufacturers to realize there is no point in continuing to manufacture their obsolete technology. Since we have access to designs developed by superior minds over countless generations of detector models they simply cannot hope to compete. It will be less painful for all concerned if these so-called competitors do the wise thing and switch to manufacturing DVD players.

We have not fully unlocked the secrets of the alien technology as some of the designs require manufacturing processes beyond our current level of industrial development. It is as if a scientist 50 years ago acquired a modern microprocessor. Even if he could understand it, how could he make one? We face similar dilemmas, and so the antigravity generators remain a future feature in our units, but one that we are sure will be available soon.

The only other problem that remains to be addressed is that of total depth of detection. It is obvious that the flying searchcoil technology solved this puzzle, as they could detect targets while flying at high speeds not just feet, but miles off the ground!! Our attempts to duplicate this performance has run into only one problem we have not yet overcome.

As we raise the power of the unit, certain problems are introduced. Mainly, the generation of eddy currents in near surface targets become such that they actually will melt at the higher power levels used while attempting to detect deeper targets. A tragic event occurred when one prototype operator was instantly vaporized while attempting to detect a 1 grain gold nugget buried 100 feet in highly mineralized soil. We salute this brave detectorist who gave his life so we can all enjoy better metal detecting!!!

The alien detectorists apparently discovered how to feed unlimited power into their flying searchcoil fields giving ABSOLUTELY UNLIMITED DEPTHS OF DETECTION!!!! We suspect this may be related to the antigravity mechanism and in fact that the heat and energy from these powerful searchfields were diverted somehow to power the antigravity circuits. If we can solve the heat problem we will no doubt have the secret of the flying searchcoils fully in hand.

One useful side effect of this otherwise serious limitation is that by employing a very short burst of high power all lessor metal detectors within a one mile radius will be instantly destroyed. Fair play requires you broadcast a notice before activating this ''high power mode'' but the best advice we can offer to anyone using any competing brand of detector is to discard it immediately and buy one of our units. The ULTIMATE GOLD DETECTOR is fully shielded against outside electrical interference.

This hopefully answers some of the questions I am receiving regarding accessory options. The obvious fact is that options are only limited by your bank account. Coffee boilers, beer taps, and weaponry of any size and variety can be provided for your new ULTIMATE GOLD DETECTOR!!! In view of the disputes that may break out over prime detecting ground as this technology becomes more available we advise extra armor be purchased to protect your investment. The ATV platform and power generators can be upgraded to almost any platform imaginable. Until the antigravity option becomes available I am personally saving for the helicopter option.

And yes... any size suction dredge option you wish can be easily provided!!

Finally, remember that when you read other posts making what seem to be impossible claims for this new unit that it is the very impossibility of the claims that guarantees their truth! Some will attempt to discredit our new detector, but it is obviously just sour grapes on their part. It is hard for many to accept that the detector they currently own and are so proud of has now been relegated to the trash heap of history.

Call 907-DIG-GOLD now and reserve your new ULTIMATE GOLD DETECTOR!!! Due to overwhelming demand supplies will be limited for the foreseeable future. Although you may notice large withdrawals of funds from your bank accounts, we ask your patience in actually receiving your new ULTIMATE GOLD DETECTOR as we are still working on a couple tiny little details. But we know you do not want your new detector until it is 100% right!!

Finally, we have no dealer pricing available but do not let this discourage you. We have found that avid nugget hunters will pay any price for new detector technology. Simply buy as many units as you can afford from us, and then mark the price up as high as you wish!! People will flock to your doors as the supply will be limited for quite some time. We do ask that you no more than double the price in all fairness to the detecting public, but do what you think best. To become a dealer, simply call 907-DIG-GOLD and provide us with your credit card numbers, bank account numbers, and social security number and we will sign you up!! Dealer logos will be available soon for your use.

And one last promise. I will provide photos of this amazing new instrument in the near future to prove to those few doubters that the ULTIMATE GOLD DETECTOR has arrived. Stay tuned for details, but more importantly call 907-DIG-GOLD now and order your new ULTIMATE GOLD DETECTOR!!!!!!!!

Steve Herschbach

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