On the news front... -- Lafcadio T. Lion and Strawberry Sage and Friends Fun Forum

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Date Posted: 15:31:21 01/08/02 Tue
Author: Reporter Lion
Author Host/IP: qam1b-sif-86.monroeaccess.net / 12.27.214.87
Subject: On the news front...

The world was saddened at the close of last week with the report of the untimely and tragic death of former first dawg (accepted Georgia spelling), Buddy, near the new Clinton digs in New York. The Clinton legacy continues, however.

Bubba was routinely questioned about the tragedy by local law enforcement people. He reportedly responded to a question about his whereabouts at the time of the incident by challenging the definition of "time of" Following his session with animal control officers, Bubba stepepd before a bank of media microphones and shook his finger at the gathered reporters who were fauning on his every word as he proclaimed, "I have never run down that dawg... that Mister Buddy."

Tom Daschle of South Dakota lead a delegation of Senate Democrats who have rallied behind the Clintons by declaring that the horrific death of the former family pet was a suicide. Meanwhile, Representatives Barney Franks and Gerald Nadler (D-NY) joined Cynthia McKinney (D-GA) in a full scale frontal assault on investigations being conducted into the death by proclaiming, "It's about DOG FOOD, for cripes sakes!"

Reached at a meeting of her support group, "Women Learning To Fake Baking Cookies and Real Smiles," Hillary Clinton declared that she suspected a "vast right wing conspiracy" was responsible for the death of the family pet. The former "smartest woman alive" (now just another stupid, partisan, liberal Democrat U. S. Senator) released a statement to investigators through her attorney, Geraldo Rivera.

"Mrs. Clinton has no knowledge of how Buddy came to be found staked to a short chain in the passing lane of the busy New York Thruway," Rivera reported as Afghani movie extras scrambled over rocky New York City mountain redoubts in the background.

Police say there is absolutely no truth to reports that the family cat had reportedly recently obtained a New York State Driver's License. They have also discounted reports that Hamas and Hezbollah have both claimed responsibility for the hit and run incident. A videotaped statement was delivered to the Yemen offices of Al Jeerzah Television News Service that purports to show Usama bin Laden cleverly disquised as a retired auto worker and in hiding in a trailer home community in Palm Beach County, Florida. In that tape bin Laden chortles mirthfully about the death and
clearly indicates how he was aware of the planned death and his reaction to the news of the plot coming to fruition.

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