Fund raising suggestion for Laf and a joke about age -- Lafcadio T. Lion and Strawberry Sage and Friends Fun Forum

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Date Posted: 19:45:50 02/20/02 Wed
Author: Bidcaller
Author Host/IP: NoHost / 65.89.19.248
Subject: Fund raising suggestion for Laf and a joke about age

MONEY
>
>It can buy a House
>But not a Home
>
>It can buy a Bed
>But not Sleep
>
>It can buy a Clock
>But not Time
>
>It can buy you a Book
>But not Knowledge
>
>It can buy you a Position
>But not Respect
>
>It can buy you Medicine
>But not Health
>
>It can buy you Blood
>But not Life
>
>It can buy you Sex
>But not Love
>
>So you see money isn't everything.
>And it often causes pain and suffering.
>
>I tell you all this because
>I am your Friend, and as your Friend
>I want to take away your pain and suffering...
>
>So send me all your money
>and I will suffer for you.
>
>
>I ACCEPT CASH, MONEY ORDERS,
>PERSONAL CHECKS, CASHIERS
>CHECKS, BAGS OF GOLD, BARS
>OF PLATINUM, ETC..ETC..
>PLEASE: NO CHILDREN AS PAYMENTS.
>THEY WILL BE RETURNED

Forgive Your Enemies

> The preacher, in his Sunday sermon, used "Forgive Your Enemies"
> as his subject.
>
> After a long sermon, he asked how many were willing to forgive
> their enemies. About half held up their hands. Not satisfied
> he harangued (someone subscribes to bigwords.com!) for another
> twenty minutes and repeated his question. This time he
> received a response of eighty percent. Still unsatisfied,
> he lectured for fifteen minutes and repeated his question.
> With all thoughts now on Sunday dinner, all responded except
> one elderly lady in the rear.
>
> "Ms. Jones, are you not willing to forgive your enemies?"
>
> "I don't have any."
>
> "Ms. Jones, that is very unusual. How old are you?"
>
> "Ninety-three."
>
> "Ms. Jones, please come down in front and tell the
> congregation how a person can live to ninety-three and not
> have an enemy in the world."
>
> The little sweetheart of a lady teetered down the aisle,
> very slowly turned around & said: "It's easy. I just outlived
> the sons of bitches."

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