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Date Posted: 16:48:45 04/26/03 Sat
Author: Tommy Kirchhoff
Subject: wrote this for "Charlotte" below... could be longer of you like

You're going to be playing a "Movie Director," so you'll want that casual-but-godlike egotist look. Think of yourself as a female equivalent of Steven Spielberg. You'll need to talk fast, and use lots of body language. I'm thinking glasses and a ball cap, button down shirt with jeans, and comfortable black shoes.


Begin Monologue:

Shaina, you were selected to play the role of a pregnant 15-year old girl of southern descent. Do you know your lines? Good.

Alright, the action begins with your character spooning up a heaping plate of your father's favorite food --Swampfish Casserole. You breathe in and out through your mouth because this stuff smells really putrid. You walk over to the kitchen table where he is seated. You hesitate for a moment then set the plate of food down in front of him. Just after you place it on the table, you take a step back and try to shake off the disgusting smell, like this.

As this hairy, swelling beast of a man begins to devour his succulent Swampfish, you begin to fret and pace back and forth, like this. Bite on your thumb nail.

The father's line is, "I need some lemonade to wash this down." You walk back into the kitchen, desperately considering how you will deliver your line,
"Papa don't preach; I'm keepin' my baby."

As you look out the small window above the kitchen sink, you see a glowing blue light out in the bayou. As you move your face closer to the window, suddenly the Galactic Shred Monster appears on the other side of the window. He'll punch through the wall, pull you through the window and eat your head. He'll get a whiff of the Swampfish Casserole, scream as though he's been nailed with kryptonite and run away back toward the bayou. OK? Good.

Alright, places everyone.

And, action-

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