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Date Posted: 10:05:27 05/15/02 Wed
Author: Jana~
Subject: Re: Meeting Matthew
In reply to: coffeecup 's message, "Re: Meeting Matthew" on 09:47:55 05/15/02 Wed

LOL... oh yeah, the "I shoulda said/done this" torture AFTER the fact! BTDT! But, now, if I were to offer him sex, he would DEFINITELY run away screaming! As bad as I am with clothes on (fat, ugly, scarred), I am 100times WORSE naked!

If (IF, not that it is AT ALL possible) I were to get naked in front of this man, or any man, or any human being, the response would be devastating (for me). I know this already, with how DRs and hubby has reacted. I'm either pitied, treated like a freak show, or avoided/ignored.

Sure, I have had dreams where I meet him and tell him he's "on my list"... with the laminated card and the whole shot, but I could NEVER say that to him! Ugh! Who am I kidding! I would be lucky if I could say ANYTHING intelligent/intelligible to the man!

But in my dreams, I'm not ugly/hideous, and I can speak surprisingly eloquently. :::sigh::: in my dreams...

Sorry, I'm like this.

MTLBYAKY

Jana~


>I babbled too and laughed like a hyena when he said
>about Maine having nice lobster. I know he thought I
>was a lunatic - but I guess he's used to it by now and
>he's incredibly sweet however nervous you are - well
>thats the impression I got seeing as I was incredibly
>nervous and he was sweet to me LOL. I keep looking
>back on it and thinking what I SHOULD have said and
>done- something along the lines of "Heres my cell
>phone number, call me and you'll have guaranteed sex"
>or words to that effect;) but no, that never came out
>- although I was thinking it approx. 1 second after he
>left:)

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