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Date Posted: 08:11:06 08/20/03 Wed
Author: Ian Verhaegen (Utah)
Author Host/IP: 4.22.147.202
Subject: Ian Howfield report, week 4 2003

This week was a squeeker that shouldn't have been against the Lincoln Wussbags. In fact, had that excuse for a kicker, Wussbag Kosel been accurate on a kick I could have done in my sleep, we would have lost!

Obviously, this win was due to the brilliant footwork, by me, in the game. You can discount that supposed 'missed' field goal in the 4th quarter. It doesn't make sense that the kicker gets dinged on his stats when the holder can't stand a football upright, and it STILL only missed a yard wide.

Now...I **Excuse me, mr Howfield, Biffie Jones here from the Provo Gazette...what do you think of your predecessor Brian Hurley kicking a FIFL record 52 yard field...AAAAIEEEEEEGGGGHHHHHHHH, get off! get off! *biff* *smack* AAAAUGH**

2 days later...

Judge Peabog has determined that Ian Howfield, kicker for the Utah Rattlers, will be released on a 3 day probation for the assault of Biffie Jones of the Provo Gazette.

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