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Date Posted: 19:57:38 05/05/02 Sun
Author: yo
Subject: evening chuckles

Get ready to groan...



"I think I'm shrinking!" the woman said. The doctor calmly responded, "Now,
settle down, I'm busy. You'll just have to be a little patient."

****
A skeptical anthropologist was cataloging South American folk
remedies with the assistance of a tribal brujo who indicated that the leaves
of a particular fern were a sure cure for any case of constipation. When the
anthropologist expressed his doubts, the brujo looked him in the eye and
said, "Let me tell you, with fronds like these, who needs enemas?"

****

Back in the 1800s the Tates Watch Company of Massachusetts wanted to
produce other products and, since they already made the cases for pocket
watches, decided to market compasses for the pioneers traveling west. It
turned out that although their watches were of finest quality, their
compasses were so bad that people often ended up in Canada or Mexico rather
than California . This, of course, is the origin of the expression, "He who
has a Tates is lost!"

****

A thief broke into the local police station and stole all the
bathroom fixtures. A spokesperson was quoted as saying, "We have absolutely
nothing to go on."

****

An Indian chief was feeling very sick, so he summoned the medicine
man. After a brief examination, the medicine man took out a long, thin strip
of elk hide and gave it to the chief, instructing him to bite off, chew and
swallow one inch of the leather every day. After a month, the medicine man
returned to see how the chief was feeling. The chief shrugged and said,"The
thong is ended, but the malady lingers on."

****

A famous Viking explorer returned home from a voyage and found his
name missing from the town register. His wife insisted on complaining to the
local civic official who apologized profusely saying, "I must have taken
Leif off my census."

****

There were three Indian squaws. One slept on a deer skin, one slept
on an elk skin and the third slept on a hippopotamus skin. All three became
pregnant and the first two each had a baby boy. The one who slept on the
hippopotamus skin had twin boys This goes to prove that the squaw of the
hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides.

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