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Date Posted: 16:36:33 12/24/02 Tue
Author: Fenrir
Subject: A Dark Cloud

So here we are, on the eve of Christmas. This should be a happy time, celebrating the birth of the Savior. But a dark cloud hangs over this day. A dark and evil menace that has plagued the world for centuries. That plague goes by the name . . . Santa Claus.

Humans have long enslaved those weaker than themselves, and a few centuries ago the cycle began to repeat. After the death of St. Nicholas it was realized by the Powers That Be (TM) that there would have to be someone new to replace him and bring toys to the worlds children. So, using the technology of the ancients, they created a mechanical monstrosity known as Mecha Claus. But they didn't have enough material to create a group of machines to make toys. So they enslaved an entire race of people. The poor Gnomes were shackled to benches and forced to make toys for the human children. When this fact became widespread, it didn't seem to bother anyone, strangely enough. Humans in their ignorance call the Gnomes "elves." They of course are nothing of the sort. And the tradition has continued on, down to this very day.

So I urge you, if late at night tonight, you hear something coming down the chimney . . . get your gun. Wage war upon this evil that is Santa Claus! If we destroy him then we can launch an assault on the North Pole compound and free the Gnomes!

Good luck my friends, and happy hunting.

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