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Date Posted: 00:38:45 04/07/03 Mon
Author: CC
Subject: The LQ Dictionary thus far.

I'm not doing this alone anymore, a couple of my friends are helping me since it's gotten rather overwhelming lately. So far we're toiling away at the 'Misspellings' section and haven't even so much as glanced at the 'Queer Phrases' or 'Say What?' sections. I never quite realized what an undertaking this was. But it's funny!

Misspellings:

ABULT LANGUAGE- No one is quite sure what this ABULT language is, but we must assume that it is the language LQ speaks, for her typing reminds poor readers repeatedly that she can’t possibly speak English as a first language.

ABOUVE GUIDELINES- These supposed guidelines apparently deal a lot with selfish pride. Whatever. It’s theorized that she’s smoking something while writing these guidelines, because they make about as much sense as ‘Abouve’. And she is not Canadian. That is all.

ONES-SELF- Dollar bills have rights, too, you know. Especially if they are in all caps.

Marring- While we can’t help but agree with her, she really was marring Link, we do understand that’s not what she meant. Then again, we can’t be sure, after all she's into drinking urine. Marring someone isn't out of the question.

Clopped- One can’t help but come up with the image of horses’ hooves instead of hands clamping down over her mouth. You’d think she meant ‘clap’, except that she never quite learned to replace the ‘o’ with an ‘a’.

Preformed- To begin before you begin? Ceremonies are not preformed, they’re performed, but we can’t expect her to understand this, now can we? Of course, when you stop to think about it, you have to wonder how many of these errors are real errors? Perhaps she meant for the whole thing to be formed before it started?

Lift hand- Either Link has three hands, or she meant left hand.

Mussel- This is one of the funnier misspellings. She meant a horse’s muzzle, but continually misspelled it as mussel instead, making everyone wonder how the hell a horse had shellfish attached to it. There was a theory, brought up briefly, that it was done for humor value on purpose. Hmm… nah.

Memorial Night- She meant memorable night, though instead all this conjured was the image of raising flags and saluted the dearly departed. And the mourning of Link’s character, butchered by a really bad fanfic called My Inner Life.

Minuets- It's like that episode of Animaniacs where they say, "Polka Dot?" And Dot goes, "Not again!" And dances the polka. Yeah. Minuets is like that: Learn how to spell, Queenie. We also believe that she dances as well as she writes.

Escaped passed- She's having a schizo moment! Call the doctors! SHE CAN'T DECIDE WHICH WORD TO USE!! Oh, no.... In other words, we got a headache trying to figure this one out.

Out tongues- We want nothing to do with JennaMarySue’s tongue, wherever it may be.

UNGH- LQ needs Unger Management Classes. At least that’s what we thought of first when encountering this ‘word’. Unfortunately, there is no actual word or meaning for UNGH, tis supposedly a sound she made while in the middle of hot passion. Or was that the childbirth scene? Nevertheless, it makes us think she’s attempting to start her motor but can’t figure out where the gas pedal is.

A hear- I'll take 'incoherency' for $200, Alex. But, otherwise, we a hear to the rules, man, we a hear to the rules! Seriously, how does someone muck that one up? Adhere isn’t that difficult of a word. Really, it isn’t.

Loosing- While we all know she’s a loose woman, that’s probably not what she meant when she used this word. Lose only has one ‘o’ in it. Learn it, live it.

URAGH- This is another one that makes our brains hurt. There is no such word, but it’s another cute attempt at giving voice to a sound. It didn’t work.

Privlages- There's more of that Abult Language. It must be, for there is no English word that looks like that. Perhaps she means privileges?

Avengement- Oooh. We’d like to get some avengement on LQ. Of course, the context in which she uses this makes me wonder if she really knows how to use this word properly. Considering her track record… obviously not.

Bias opinions- Opinions? Our opinion is that... this person is stark, raving mad. And needs to add an ‘ed’ onto the end of that. Biased opinions, dear.

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