STAMPEDE Wrestling -- UCW

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Date Posted: 03:11:03 11/18/04 Thu
Author: Pre-Recorded from Calgary, Alberta, Canada
Subject: STAMPEDE Wrestling
In reply to: Live From Dayton, Ohio 's message, "Brand Smackdown!" on 20:54:46 11/16/04 Tue

-As soon as the opening is complete and the pyros die down, the fans attention is turned to the Smacktron where we show you footage from last weekends STAMPEDE Wrestling show from the STAMPEDE arena in Calgary, Alberta, Canada.-

-We take you to ringside where the ring is surrounded by STAMPEDE talent such as Maven, Brian Lawler, Doug and Danny Basham, Jonah Adelman, Johnny Stamboli, Chuck Palumbo, Mark Jindrak, Paul London, Tyson Tomko, Gene Snitsky, John Heidenreich, Luther Reigns, Ron Killings, The Naturals, America�s Most Wanted, Kazarian, Rob Conway, Harry Smith, Carlito Cool, and Teddy Hart. As they surround the ring, they are all staring into it as none other than Smackdown!�s Jesse Hart stands in the middle, mic in hand, getting ready to speak.-

Hart: Shut up, listen, and learn� because I�m Jesse Hart. Say hello to the bad guy people. You all know me, everyone in this arena knows me. Hell, everyone in this god damned world knows me because I�m a star. I�m an icon� a living legend in the making. Rookie of the Year, two time Tag Team Champion, two time Intercontinental Champion, first ever International Champion, Royal Rumble Champion, and a three time World Champion, soon to be four. I�m a world renown movie star. I�m the Big-Swinging-Dick in this business and I go where I want when I want. Every Diva in the back, if I wanted her, I�ve had her. Your wife, your girlfriend, your sister, and even your mother if you piss me off, I�ll have them all. My name is Jesse Hart, and this is my world� and you�re just living in it. Now, before I go any further, have any of you ever had a contract with either Raw or Smackdown?

-Brian Lawler, Chuck Palumbo, and Mark Jindrak all raise their hands.-

Hart: Good for you, now get the f*** out of my building! We don�t hire used up talent here, we make new ones. This is the deal, I�m not here to waste your time, and you damn well better not ever waste mine. The new year is approaching, and it�s time to see who�s gonna make the cut. Some of you might be lucky enough to get the call this year, and some of you will get cut. That�s the way of the world. Learn it, know it, embrace it, because it�s never gonna change. Now, if you make the cut and get called up to the big leagues, it�s just a matter of time from the opening bell of your first match until the time you become a millionaire. There is no question that if you follow my lead you�ll become a millionaire, the only question is, how many times over.

-Jesse then narrows his eyes at Teddy Hart and Carlito Cool as they chuckle.-

Hart: Is this funny to you? You think I�m joking? I�m not joking. I�m a millionaire. It�s a weird thing to hear, right? Well, it�s a weird thing to say. I�m a f******* multi-millionaire! Now guess how old I am? Twenty-five. You know what that makes me here? Damn near a f****** senior citizen. Within the next year, this business will be entirely comprised of people your age. You�re the new blood coming out of the gates. Lucky for me, I am very f****** good at my job or else I�d be out of one.

Money, cars, women, success, it�s all at your fingertips. Anybody who says that money is the root of all evil, doesn�t have it. Money can�t buy happiness? Look at the smile on my face, ear to ear, baby. I own more muscle cars than you�ve all got muscles. I�ve got a house in every major city in the world. I have everything in this world that anybody could want, and best of all, I�m liquid.

So now that you know what�s possible, let me tell you what�s required. You�re required to work your ass off. We want winners, not pikers. A piker is someone who only competes from bell to bell. To get ahead in this business, to survive in an ocean with a shark like Jesse Hart in it, you�ve got to be competing 24/7� no exceptions. You want a vacation? Go teach third grade public school.

Your first six months are going to be hell on earth. Everyone�s going to shit on you. The boys are gonna shit on you. The bookers are gonna shit on you. The fans are gonna shit on you. Your friends are gonna think you�re insane. You�re family is going to try to talk you out of it. Well f*** them! F*** you Mom and Dad! As a rookie, you�re learning the business, and you need to build a foundation before a building. Me? I built the goddamned Twin Towers. Now go home and think about whether this is for you. If you decide it isn�t, nothing to be embarrassed about, it�s not for everyone. But if you decide to do this, you either follow my lead or go home, I won�t have you waste my time.

-Jesse narrows his eyes over at Teddy once more as he keeps talking to Carlito.-

Hart: TED! Get your ass in the ring.

-Teddy�s eyes go wide and he points to himself, asking why. Jesse looks down at him, completely annoyed now.-

Hart: Somebody toss his ass in the ring.

-Suddenly, Carlito grabs Teddy, along with every other Stampeder around him, and they toss him into the ring!-

Hart: Lesson number one.

-Jesse tosses the mic down to the mat and pulls his shirt off, walking right up to Teddy and DRILLS him across the jaw with a right hand! Teddy goes stumbling back first into a corner, and Jesse meets him with a STIFF chop across the chest, followed up by a right hand, and then a boot to the gut. Jesse then fires Teddy across and ducks under him on the return, catching and JAMMING him into the mat with a Full Nelson Slam!-

-Teddy lands on the back of his head and folds up like an accordion. Jesse stalks around him in the ring, and as soon as Teddy pulls himself up, Jesse DRILLS him with the Hart Stomp, almost taking his head off! As Teddy lies flat on his back, Jesse quickly turns him over into the Sharpshooter, the pain jolting Teddy awake and he taps out immediately! After a few moments, Jesse releases the hold and grabs the mic, speaking once again.-

Hart: Follow my lead�. man up� or go home. Just don�t� waste� my� time. Class dismissed.

-Jesse then tosses the mic down and climbs out of the ring, waits a moment for the Stampeders to part and make room for him to walk past as the scene cuts and we go to a commercial break.-

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Replies:

Arrival -- Jesse Hart, 02:11:36 11/21/04 Sun