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Date Posted: 16:29:34 05/24/03 Sat
Author: Sky Watcher
Subject: The Conspiracy Unveiled

I suspect that Glue Man and Gareth Finch are one and the same person!

Consider it: his initials are G.M which is undeniable evidence given that the same initials are used by Gareth Finch's character in Zelda: The Wind Walker (G-MAN).

Ha! I have you, you fiend.

Now, since G.M also stands for Genetically Modified, I have come to suspect that Gareth Finch is actually the result of a government experiment to engineer someone to deliver The Perfect Joke (Monty Python alluded to this dangerous weapon's existence in one of their sketches). He is only one of the many Gareth Finches walking this planet, unaware of their sinister past and how they will soon be utilised in the 'War Against Terror'.

All I can say is that if a "misdelivered" package containing a "Teach Yourself Arabic In 24 Hours" course arrives on your doorstep it'll be time to leave the country. Do not listen to the tape; it contains subliminal messages which will bring you under mindwave control of the Echelon 5 project. Come to think of it, the best thing to do right now is make a hat out of tinfoil and sit close to a dishwasher of German make.

Salutations.

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