RE: cystic hygroma-hydrops any help please!! -- Poor Prenatal Diagnosis-Advice And Support

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Subject: RE: cystic hygroma-hydrops any help please!!

Author:
Melanie

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Date Posted: 01:56:41 01/25/03 Sat

I am so sorry to hear about your sister-in-law's dilemma. She must be going through pure torture.

The problem with the medical profession is that they generally feel that they are doing a woman a "favor" if they terminate a pregnancy if the baby's condition is fatal or if the baby is severely deformed. Most doctors are not well-trained in grief issues... their specialty is medicine. The delivery is probably difficult for them to see, and just having the pregnancy ended seems like the "easiest" way to go for everyone. I do think they mean well.

First of all, it sounds like your SIL may be well into her pregnancy. If that is the case, abortion may be riskier for her than delivery. I don't think a lot of women are told this.

I agree that having an abortion increases the guilt factor a great deal. There are always those nagging "what if" questions. Doctors are not Gods, and they are not always right 100% of the time. I wouldn't want to use that to give anyone false hope, but it is something that weighs on my heart and mind a lot when considering such things and in the end may end up weighing on your SIL's mind as well. The real truth is that terminating the pregnancy robs her of the precious time that she does have with her baby. It guarantees one particular outcome and does nothing to end her suffering.

There is support for woman who receive a diagnosis where they do not expect the baby to live. I hope this site can be of some help.

http://www.erichad.com/wwl/

You may have to talk to the baby's father first, and just provide him resources to help them get through this. I hope she won't shut him out. That would be tragic all around.

I wish you all the best.

--Melanie

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