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Date Posted: 00:13:34 05/02/02 Thu
Author: Rikki
Subject: UNDERSTAND?

This online journal thing is an awsome idea. I can release my thoughts....think difficult situations through...vent neccissary and unneccissary feelings, feel like someone is listening quietly, reread my thoughts, then react properly in a nonagressive way. Well, its only my second post, so I guess I shouldn't make such an early statement. I guess I just FEEL like this journal is going to be helpful. I can express my immediate feelings without hurting anyones' feelings. I can express things that I wouldn't express to anyone face to face. My first reaction to things is often rediculous so I often just keep things inside and think about the situation, then speak. This way I can express myself {don't keep it bottled up} Then react. We'll see.
Imma crazy girl, really. I keep a lid on things very well, considering the things I've gone through. Better than most in the aspect of thinking things through before reacting. There are so many things wrong with my life. On the outside I am bubbly and happy, pretty much all the time. I have my bad days. The inside is an entirely different story. Internal scars that just won't go away. I try to get over things and forget the past, but scars never heal. They fade, but they never go away. I don't think anyone on this planet truely understands me. Some are close, but not completely. Terrible feeling. Sometimes I'll think someone completely understands, but no.........false

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