Team News--4/25 -- Proforma Pirates

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Date Posted: 13:37:21 04/25/02 Thu
Author: The Fingernator
Subject: Team News--4/25

The Proforma Pirates dropped their home opener in a heartbreaker last night, 4-3, to the "Players" before a sellout attendance of 3 at Downes Field in Broolkline. All four "Players" runs came in the first inning on two, two run homers on misjudged play bycenterfielder Tony "Dwayne Hosey" Spinelli. The Pirates were given a quality start complete game by ace Mike "Ali" Lee who kept "Players" batters off balance all night with his barely above flat pitch but it wasn't enough to beat the former league contenders as the Pirates never were able to get their bats going. "We swung at too many first pitches. We can't have that that, we let their pitcher get in a rhythym that he carried throughout the game. We need to be more patient and selective at the plate" manager Greg Jurkiewicz said following the game. The Pirates were lead at the plate by John"Rickey" Resnick, the teams newly found lead-off hitter. "I'm a prime time player, that's all. You all saw what I can do. Just let me play. I produce" Said Resnick when asked whether the team should use him in it's everyday line up. The Pirates also received stellar defensive play by Mike"Cubbage" Feeney at third base who looked as comfortable as he does on his favorite spot on the couch. "I felt Like I had the cable clicker in my hand. I'm that comfortable. As far as I was concerned it was a Saturday afternoon" said Feeney following the loss. The Pirates also got great play from first baseman John "Fingurnator" Walsh who displayed several pants spitting stretches to help keep his team in the game. " I played well but when it got to the 5th inning, all I could think about was a large chicken finger" said Walsh. Walsh got his birthday wish as the Pirates held a chinese banquet following post game activities at the Beer Garden. Walsh performed like an All-Star. "On and off the field this kid is good, from eating ketchup packets to chicken fingers to making plays, he does it all well" said General Manager David Burnes. Team notes...A kangaroo court has been developed for team fines..Strike outs will be a case of beer, other rules TBD, Judge Manning will preside...an ivestigation will be placed on the planting of duck sauce in the shower at 690 E.8th street..rumor has it that Mike Lee is in love..League dentist Doc Burnes is openfor appoitments call 277-3127 for a cleaning.."daimond" Joe Cloherty was in good company last night at the bar...Pirates next game is at Lars Anderson Monday night at 6:15 against Smokehouse Blue...Happy Birthday

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