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• She was returning from the weekend at her moms feeling only slightly better... Her mom had tried to avoid bringing up charlie in conversation in favour of bringing up Isaac instead, which didn't make her feel any better- as he still wanted no part of a reconcilliation. She let herself into the little apartment that had become their home, smiling a touch at the familiarity and safety it struck inside her. Their first home together... and their first christmas here. At least for this week or so she could but it all behind her and they could get through christmas at least... and then she'd tell him, because it was obvious that not telling him was as destructive as telling him would be. "Baby? I'm home..." (NT) -- Alysia, 05:23:16 12/21/04 Tue

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• His eyes were bleary with tears, and all of the power had been sapped out of his limbs, so he was useless as far as rising. More than being angry, he was hurt, extremely hurt - it was as though she had torn his heart out and sliced it up before his very eyes. He was leaned forward, elbows on his knees, hands on his eyes, trying to take it all in, let it sink in. He let out a long, shuddering sigh when he heard her voice but was unable to respond or get up. The video was just flicking off, the sounds still echoing in his mind - I don't want Charlie to know.. and the way she'd reacted, things that he'd thought only he was able to elicit from her, it was a gross invasion of something that was, quite intimately, his own. (NT) -- Charlie, 05:25:50 12/21/04 Tue

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• She dumps her overnight bag and shrugs off the white snow-jacket, letting loose her blonde curls before wandering into the lounge from the hall. Her dark gaze lingered over him, before it followed his own gaze tot he television, which was fuzzing and crackling away to nothing, before glancing back to him, her brow furrowed with concern "Charlie?" She moves closer, dropping down intot he couch beside him and tentatively reaching for his hand, terrified of what had happened "Charlie whats wrong?" (NT) -- ALysia, 05:52:13 12/21/04 Tue

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• Something monumental happened then, something that had never happened before - he brushed her hand away, avoiding her touch the best he could, and looked up at her with blurred eyes, his jaw set firmly, and let a long breath out of his nose. "Alysia." He didn't say anything else, but tossed aside the remote, pressing his lips together and looking up at her. "I thought you loved me." It was the most cliched phrase probably ever used in history, but that was precisely how he felt - he loved her, and he had been faithful the entire time - he couldn't imagine ever going to someone other than her for any needs - in fact, he hardly thought of other girls at all anymore, and maybe he was selfish, but expected the same of her.. (NT) -- Char, 05:57:11 12/21/04 Tue

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• Her brow furrowed quickly as he brushed away her hand, glancing down to it quickly before looking back to him, fear stricking in her eyes at his words... Jake... Jake must have told him...she'd thought it was all just threats... "I do love you... I love you more than life Charlie, you know that... I'd do anything for you" It was the truth... she'd done what she'd done for him, to save him, to keep him alive... (NT) -- Alysia, 06:01:34 12/21/04 Tue

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• "No.." He shook his head, once again pressing his lips together, clenching his jaw lightly to avoid the stricken tears - he felt like a schoolgirl, but he'd always been on the sensitive side. "No, obviously you don't. Or you only love me enough to fuck Jake - maybe I could have stomached it a little better if it wasn't the fucking man that caused all the damage I've spend the last few years trying to repair in you." (NT) -- Charlie, 06:04:36 12/21/04 Tue

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• Tears gathered qyuickly in her own dark eyes, her delicate hands cupping her face as she cradled her dizzying head, all the while trying to voice her protests, but what could she say? "It wasn't like that Charlie... I didn't chose it.... i hate him, you know I hate him... I had to...did he tell you? Did he tell you why?" (NT) -- Alysia, 06:38:06 12/21/04 Tue

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• He shook his head lightly, looking up at her - he didn't know what to believe anymore - he had thought he could trust her, but then he saw this video, and that was as good as her saying from her own lips that she didn't love him - it was easy to try and backpeddle now because she had probably never thought anyone would see it. "You didn't choose it? Your screams told me something different, Alysia." (NT) -- Charlie, 06:40:14 12/21/04 Tue

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• Her brow furrowed in confusion, and almost disgust at herself, straightening a little and watching him, trying to gage some kind of sense from what he was saying... She glances warily to the television playing nothing, then her gaz\e dropped tot he envolope on the table and a feeling of dread and nausea filled her. Her hand covered her mouth as she stared at it, wincing a little before she spoke "He taped it... and you watched it... " It was clearly news to her at either had taken place. (NT) -- Alysia, 06:48:07 12/21/04 Tue

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• "Oh, well if he hadn't, I'm sure I would have found out one way or the other." He was getting angry now, but he didn't raise his voice much, though a certain intense tone took him over, his voice hard and serious. "And the next thing you know, everyone on the internet will know about it as well." (NT) -- Charlie, 07:17:16 12/21/04 Tue

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• She stood, cursing softly under her breath, though she didn't even bother to think about the headlines and gossip that would circulate about the Ballerina Alysia Jackson. Her thoughts only lingered on what he must have seen, what he must think ... but could he really believe she didn't love him? After everything... "The whole time I was wishing it was you, thinking it was you... crying because I knew it wasn't. I had to sleep with him Charlie... he was going to kill you... I saw... " She was growing frantic now, he voice cracking a little, rising, tears flooding in her dark, doe-like eyes "...I heard him kill a guy... at the club, the week before... He said thats what he'd do if I didn't... what could I do?" (NT) -- Alysia, 07:23:56 12/21/04 Tue

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• He thought about it, mulled it over in his mind for a moment, as though he had to really consider it, at least he was rational enough to be able to think about it.. "You didn't trust me enough to look after you, Alysia?" He frowned, let out another long sigh, and ran a hand through his hair, watching her a moment. "Thoughts and wishes do not reality make." (NT) -- Charlie, 07:26:51 12/21/04 Tue

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• She drew a shakey breath with his final words, brushing the tears from her face and dropping her arms low around her waist, holding his gaze "Why do you always have to be a hero Charlie? You had to be the hero getting the money to free Ice... how can you blame be for doubting... it was near to a mircle that you got this money... "She moved closer to him, crouching down infrom of him, her gaze dropping to his hands as her own tentatively moved to cover them once more, tears clouding her eyes "I told you I loved you... I told you I'd do anything for you... hiow much would you do for me to save my life Charlie?" (NT) -- Alysia, 07:33:43 12/21/04 Tue

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• He didn't want to think about it - and he rose, taking his hands away from hers. "You saw what I did for you - you saw how much I would do, Alysia." He looked at her once more, flexing his jaw, and reached for his jacket heading toward the door. (NT) -- Chaer, 09:51:17 12/21/04 Tue

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• She swallowed heavily against the tears, feeling so torn apart it killed her. He couldn't leave her... he was her life.... "Would you sleep with a person you hated more than anything? Risking everything? Would you do whatever it took, all the while the thud of muffled gunshot and screaming haunting your nightmares every night?" She stood still , fighting against the tears that already streamed down her pale cheeks. (NT) -- Alysia, 09:55:59 12/21/04 Tue

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• He sighed a little bit, wiping a hand over his eyes, and letting out a long breath. It was hard to say what he would do in the face of the situation, but he was still wounded - all he could see was the way that she rose to the occasion with Jake, enjoying it, delighting in it, he set his jaw lightly and swallowed again. "I would die for you, Aly." (NT) -- Charlie, 09:58:41 12/21/04 Tue

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• She shifted closer to him, her gaze pleading silently with his as she tipped her face to him, drawing a shakey breath "Then how can you blame me for what I did?" She frowns softly, her fingers reaching to knot themselves hopefully in his shirt at his chest, caughing back a soft sob. She had regreted it every day from that to this "Don't you think I hate myself for it? I can't even bring myself to look at myself, I can't even let you touch me because I feel so sick knowing what I did... but I did it for you... I had to keep you safe Charlie...you're my whole life...my world... how could I let him hurt you?" (NT) -- Alysia, 16:26:27 12/21/04 Tue

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• He still was not convinced that Jake had the capacity to kill a man, and maybe that was the majority of the problem. He looked down at her slender fingers knotted in his shirt and very nearly broke down - he felt like a broken man as it was, and this wasn't helping. It was easy to make a resolution in your mind and carry it out if you didn't see the person who you were hurting. His jacket dangling from one hand dropped - he felt too weak to even hold that up, and he sighed long and heavy. "He wasn't going to kill me, Alysia. He's a lying, stealing bastard, but he's not a murderer." How he knew this for certain, there was no telling, but that was his own personal conclusion anyways. (NT) -- Charlie, 16:30:10 12/21/04 Tue

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• Tears stung her eyes as he brow furrowed heavily, defiantly, releasing his shirt "You don't believe me? I saw it... I heard him... he had a gun and the guy... " She gave up, turning herself away from him and moving back intot he lounge, dropping down on the fluffy rug before the fire, her legs curled behind her either side of her, soft sobs racking her shoulders. She loved him... why couldn;t he see that? Why couldn;t he trust her? (NT) -- Alysia, 16:43:01 12/21/04 Tue

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• Angry as he was, he wasn't a heartless monster, and seeing her sitting there, sobbing - it was difficult for him, he wanted to go to her, wrap her up in his arms, but he felt his flesh crawl just thinking of who had recently touched her. He sighed long and low, standing there stil, by the door, in the same position he had been in when she'd left him, and unable to let his gaze stay on her golden form by the fire. He swallowed long and hard, looking to the ceiling, as though for inspiration. Something, anything, to tell him that that video was a mistake, that none of that had ever happened, that she'd not said anything in it, anything to make this better, so he could just scoop her up and love on her the way she had deserved - but still, it was the action, not the principle that bothered him - so she'd do something like that for him, but she'd actually done it, and that unsettled him more than anything. (NT) -- Charlie, 16:48:04 12/21/04 Tue

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• She swallowed softly as she ducked her her head, staring down at her delicate fingers knotted in the fluff of the white rug, her golden curls veiling her slight form as she sat there, her back to him, closing her eyes... "If you let this end us you've let him win... This is exactly what he wants... its what he's always wanted... right from when he offered you the money. Right from when he paid the bastard to beat up Storm." (NT) -- Alysia, 07:50:41 12/22/04 Wed

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• There was where she was wrong - as far as he was concerned, himself, she had let him win when she'd gone to bed with him and that was that. He'd never imagined that it would be this difficult to hang onto something that was, in essence, so right. He stared straight ahead, his dark eyes still mirroring the wounds that watching the video had inflicted. She wanted him to forget about it, imagine that things were normal, that she never slept with Jake - well, no, that was what was not happening. He pressed his lips together, letting his dark eyes flit over her for but a second, long enough to be safe still, and shook his head. "No, Aly, you let him win." (NT) -- Charlie, 07:53:41 12/22/04 Wed

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• She swallowed back a painful sob, she didn't have to see his face to feel the accusation he shot, it sank straight into her heart. She wanted to scream, she wanted to lock him in the apartment and never let him go, she wanted to take a gun and shoot jake dead.... "What would you have me do... let him kill you instead. I don't care what you say Charlie, I know what he's capable of. He hasn't won until he's broken what we have beyond repair.... " maybe it was .... (NT) -- Aly, 08:19:13 12/22/04 Wed

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• He swallowed heavily at her words, shifting and pushing his toes in the thick carpet, he bent to pick up his jacket, pushing one arm into it and finally turning to face her, standing squarely in her direction, he pressed his lips together and then slid the other arm into his jacket, sliding then into his shoes and reaching for his keys. "I don't know that he hasn't already won, then, Alysia." His voice was cold, something that didn't seem possible for the normally fun-loving, goofy, sensitive Italian man, but he was wounded, and right now, he wanted to go and lick his wounds and die by himself in the forest. (NT) -- Charlie, 08:23:45 12/22/04 Wed