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Date Posted: 21:33:39 09/10/02 Tue
Author: A.P.
Subject: BFFL Week 1 Recap

Well, as week one in the BFFL draws to a close, we can take a moment of silence to reflect on all the ups, downs, and "database unavailable" errors. That being said, here is how the week went.

Scores:

The Masters Army of Darkness 76 @ Xander's XFL 99
Wolfram & Hart Apocalypse 90 @ English Watchers 88
Hellmouth Spike Babes 87 @ Kalamazoo trav's monk-keys 96
Sunnydale Big Bads 50 @ Boston Werewolves 71
The Spuffy Killers 95 @ Sunnydale WhiteKnights 99

Stories

Led by Peyton Manning and Warrick Dunn, the XFL stifled Drew Bledsoe and the rest of the AoD's fantasy squad. Anthony Thomas, the only AoD player to score in the double digits, was last seen wandering around the city subway system shouting "I am the A-Train! All aboard the A-Train! All hail the A-train! I will carry you piggyback to your next stop!" Experts agree that Thomas' latest actions are a desperate attempt to acquire additional income to support his habit of buying and collecting expensive crystal walruses.

Halfway around the globe in Edinborough, the Wolfram & Hart squad was almost upset by the English Watchers, who were actually quite surprisingly not a bunch of pansy-assed nancy boys. Before the game, the Watchers slathered the field in English Muffins, and Apocalypse QB Kurt Warner and his receiving corps found themselves sliding all over the place, unable to score touchdowns in the air. However, two Watchers combined for 0 points, thus allowing K Adam Vinatieri to kick the winning field goal as time expired to give his team a victory in the season opener. Watchers QB Jay Fiedler was heard muttering, "I can't believe I lost to a f--king kicker... again."

Oh, those poor Hellmouth Spike Babes! If they had only brought in a couple players off the bench, they would have taken down the Monk Keys hard and fast. Keys defensive back or lineman or linebacker or one of those Deltha O'Neal, in celebration of the victory, decided he should now be called Fjord O'Neal instead and took out a full page ad in the paper announcing this was so.

The Sunnydale Big Bads lived up to Spike's self-styled nickname of "big bad" -- all too well. Hindered by poor planning, bad luck, and a general ability of the world to kick their ass, the BB's shat a proverbial brick against the Boston Werewolves, who then used it to beat the BBs' heads in. BBs TE Marcus Pollard, one of a handful of BFFL players with negative a point total this week, was quoted as saying "I want my f--king brick back."

And in a spectacular finish, the Sunnydale White Knights squeaked by the Spuffy Killers in a thrilling 99-95 victory. The balanced attack of the Knights allowed them to counter Priest Holmes' 33 points -- best in the league for week 1 -- and the Knights also scored twice as many points on defense, which is what pushed them over the top. Priest Holmes became an ordained Internet minister over the weekend.

Stay tuned for Week 2 scores and highlights! :)

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Replies:

[> Thank you A.P. This is fun!! Almost makes *sniff* losing *sniff* not so bad *sob*!!! -- Phaedra, 21:45:02 09/10/02 Tue [1]


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[> My Team Won! -- Wolfy, 18:36:51 09/11/02 Wed [1]

Howls. My Boston Werewolves won. Hip Hip Hurray.

White Werewolf


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