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Date Posted: 11:09:45 07/09/02 Tue
Author: Seril Erdrick
Subject: Return of the Elder Sage

Well, It's been awhile since I posted anything insightful. Come to think of it I have never posted anything insightful... Oh well. Well, it has been an exciting vacation I was on the last week, and I thought I would share that with some of you.

Last weekend started out like any other. I visited some family and went with my buddy Dennis to play frisbee golf. We met Kiss and Elvis in the park that day. (I have pictures to back this up) - And that's when things got strange. We were tossing the frisbee around like normal, when Elivs pulled up and asked us if we'd like to go to have some chineese food with him. Well, naturally, you can't say no to the king, so we went. While we were there we found a trophy in the parking lot and found out it was enchanted. A little fairy named Razzly appeared and told us that we could time travel with it. Well, I thought this was pretty cool since I could go back to 'nam and settle some old scores with some people I still don't like. So we did just that. Well, needless to say, She didn't tell us how to work the time-travelling trophy, so we ended up in the future, in the year 13221b on Smarch 81st. The reason it was 13221b and not 13221 was that in the future, they saved up all the leap year days and just had an extra year left over, and the switched to metric time. We were told that they has saved all the leap year days to get an extra year once before, in 7843, but the extra year was just numbered 7844 and made the whole system useless. In all this confusion they ended up with 3 extra months - Smarch, Febtober and Jewmember. Needless to say my watch did not do us much good there. So anyway, Dennis, Kiss, Elivs, myself and Razzly were all stuck in the future. Well, knowing that I had to goto Omaha next weekend for the 4th, I knew I had to get back. So, I traded Kiss for a clone of Mr. Tickles, the fish that lives outside the castle. He knew how to work the time-trohpy and got us back to 'nam so I could settle some scores. Well, after finding that bum who owed me $8, and feeling satisfied that my score was settled finally, I decided to got back further and take care of some more buisness. Well Dennis said he wanted to go visit his parents, so we dropped him off there. Then, we went back to the dawn of time because Elvis said that he could fight a dinosaur. Well, he had been drinking alot in 'nam so we decided to see if he was right. Well, The dinosaur ate him right up. Guess he was wrong. We decided to kick the dinosaur's ass when the EPA showed up and told us to knock it off. This event explains why Tyrannosaurs Rex is sometiems in the box of animal crackers. Even at the dawn of time the Man is sticking it to me. They must have a time-streaming divce too. Well, we then decided to go hang at Eden, since it is the dawn of time and all. As we walked up to it, a large hand came out of the sky and told me to get lost. Well, I figured this was God, or possibly the Incredible Hulk, but since the hand was not green, I assumed it was not the Hulk. As you can imagine Mr. Tickles was not happy. Come to think of it I wasn't either. I was still mad at God for killing my donkey and still oweing me $5. So we stole some apples from a tree with a snake in it. We ended up throwing the apples at God's car. It made quite a mess. With that, we time travelled back to the present because we were getting hungry. When we got back I realized I was late for work. What to do about that? Well, fortunately I got that infatable clone from the future that I sent in my place to work. Since I dont actually do anything, no one seemed to notice. Satisfied that everything was good, I went to Omaha for my vacation as I had planned. I threw the time-trophy in the trunk of my car so I could get rid of it. I think we broke it anyway. While we were in Omaha, Razzly suggested we try some flaming cheese. Man it was good, I reccommend it. I also had a whoel tray of jello and Razzly pulled my pants down. I was so surprised, there was jello everywhere. Yes, even there. We also went to the zoo. Later that day we stopped at my friend Jake's place to meet up with my old buddy Church (as well as some other people like Dennis). Man what an exciting weekend. We fought an Iron Golem and almost died. Then I tried to rob an old man, and almost died. And I bought a Wok and some Transformers. I had some lemonade and a cheeseburger, and I drove 20 minutes to buy donuts. Then towards the end of the weekend, I decided to stick it to the man and distribute copies of warcraft 3 so we could all waste time that would be better spent praying or something. That pretty much brings me up to now, where I am sitting at work staring at the wall. Razzly told me the other day that the time-power from the trophy was transferred to a shed, so now I have a time-shed in case anyone needs it. It's behind the castle aways, psat Ned the bum who sleeps on the rock that is not the mermaid rock. Hmm.. all this story telling has made me tired. Think I'll skip out of work and take a quick nap.

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Replies:

[> I read every single word, God help me. You, sir, are a kook!! -- Phae, 11:30:45 07/09/02 Tue [1]

I say that in the nicest way. You are a wandering, lovable kook!! :)

I have a question...Elvis pulled up in the car - was Kiss in the car? Or hanging out in the park and hopped in the car uninvited?

Must have been tasty donuts.

I await your next insightful post (yes, I read every one of them;)


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[> [> Kiss and Donuts -- Seril, 14:12:39 07/09/02 Tue [1]

Kiss was in the suv-limo thing that Elivis was in. I assume they were invited. I wouldnt want to tell them that they weren't invited. And the dnouts were good, I just do not know my way around omaha good enough to go right to the closest place. But they were good. Everyone loves Krispy Kreme


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[> [> [> Oooooooo, thank you! :) -- Phae, 18:30:45 07/09/02 Tue [1]

for clearing it up!! mmmmmmmm, Krispy Kremes :)


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[> *blink* -- Shell, 11:58:44 07/09/02 Tue [1]

wow. That was really insightful!


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[> And I thought I was dizzy before I read this................{;>0)... -- Lijdrec, 12:44:41 07/09/02 Tue [1]


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[> Hmph. All that traveling and no gifts? -- Glory, 13:50:14 07/09/02 Tue [1]


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[> [> Gifts? -- Seril, 14:10:11 07/09/02 Tue [1]

Gifts? well, I had a trophy, but I gave that away. I still have Mr. Tickles and Razzly though. Does that count? Besides, I get in trouble when I take things from other time peroids.. It can mess up the time stream, or so I hear. I still have the Time Shed, but I locked it and have the key so no one messes with it. I do have a clendar from the future though. It's kinda messed up..


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