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Date Posted: 10:19:24 07/12/02 Fri
Author: Seril
Subject: The official Friday post

Ok, someone has to get the post of the day started. Seems like there is about one new topic a day, so this is it.

Today I thought I would share some wisdom to live by before I go out on another weekend adeventure. Enjoy.

1) Your name is the one on your underpants, but don't make the mistake of declaring yourself Calvin Kliene.

2) Make absolutely sure which toothbrush you use to clean the toilet.

3) Money is best spent on you (or maybe a very demanding significant other).

4) Fire bad. Knife bad. Virulent biotoxin bad.

5) If you are ever unsure of which side of the road to drive on, try the middle or the pavement.

6) Money is a cop's best friend.

7) Before sex, check at least twice you aren't getting any "surprises".

8) Don't pull the ripcord inside the plane or when you're almost on the ground.
9) If you go back in time, don't touch anything!

10) If you get hurt by someone, sue. If you hurt someone, shower with gifts and love.

11) Remember: A practical joke has gone too far if it has gone nuclear.

12) Even though it might warm your eyes, staring at the sun is bad for you.

13) Parents like good children. That is, lie about what you're doing with your life.

14) If you hear shots, duck under the cafeteria table.

15) As it has been proven, it is impossible to stage-dive in a wheelchair.

16) Once you take the pin out of Mr Grenade, he is no longer your friend.

17) Men: In the toilet, more than two shakes is considered mixing business with pleasure.

18) Copying from one source is plagiarism. Copying from more is referencing.

19) In prison, always be the daddy.

20) Alternative religions are always good ways to make your bank accounts smaller and easier to manage.

21) You can run faster than wheelchairs. Steal from the disabled, and hope that they haven't got their harpoon.

22) Wear sunglasses so you can ogle as much as you like.

23) Cool is not an afro and a tight shirt.

24) I don't like this number, it's been razing me all day.

25) Dares are good ways of either gaining or (most likely) destroying people's respect for you.

26) TGIF: Toes go in first. NOT They Give In Finally or Tigers Growl In Fear.

26) I before E except after C... Remember this peice of information!

27) Never ask the driving examiner if he has insurance, especially life insurance.

28) Remember that Jesus loves you. Even if he doesn't people pretending to be him do.

29) Don't try to kick down glass doors.

30) C-4 is the best bargaining tool.

31) "When a fire starts to burn, there's a lesson you must learn... something, something and you'll see, you'll avoid catastrophe!"

32) Everyone is mad, except you. Don't let any psychiatrist tell you otherwise.

Hope this solves any questions anyone had about life in general.

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Replies:

[> Yaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, Friday!!!!!!! Woo hoooooooooooooooooo -- Phaedra, 11:16:17 07/12/02 Fri [1]

1) Hmmmmm, pretty good advice. I’ll remember it. Might stop people from giving me funny looks when I declare myself as “Target”.

2) I always use mine. It’s the pink one.

3 Of course.

4) Really? Ok.

5) I agree. And it is really helpful, if unsure, to go as fast as you can with your eyes shut.

6) Sex works too.

7) hahahahaha – three time’s the charm.

8) I can add to that, don’t jump out of planes ... Duh ;-)

9) Not even Cary Grant!!!! Damn!!!

10) Just kinda makes you want to always be on the receiving end of a hurt;-)

11) Knock, knock, who’s there? KABOOOOOOOOOM!!! Yeah, you’re right. Not funny:)

12) What did you say, I can’t see you.

13) I concur. My folks think I’m a rocket scientist with interests in art and archaeology. They are sooooooooooooooooooooo happy!!!

14) Take your Twinkie with you.

15) Prove it!!! Show me!!!

16) No, and see # 11 above.

17) Not that there is anything wrong with that!!!

18) I do it every day.

19) Mmmmm, ok. I’ll practice my line … Who’s your daddy?

20) Good advice for the stupid.

21) And drop you like the evil, disgusting whale you are.

22) I do it all the time.

23) You are right, it’s facial hair and no shirt!!!

(24 deleted because Seril does not like it)

25) I go with the destroying part.

26) I always thought it was Tongues Inserted Gives Fulfillment

26) LMAO

27) Unless you want to break the ice in order to start a conversation that will keep you talking incessantly while the examiner tries to concentrate and you try to drive down the sidewalk or the middle of the street with your eyes closed at a high rate of speed.

28) I do.

29) I won’t.

30) True.

31) Drop and roll, baby!!! Drop and roll.

32) I won’t … who said that!!! What did I say?!!! They are watching me … shhhhhhhh. I had a coat like that once.


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[> Wow. -- Glory, 13:42:21 07/12/02 Fri [1]

That's a lot of wisdom imparted there, Seril. You must be headed out for a long trip. I'm taking notes.Oh, wait, first I have to help Shell pack.


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[> He filled me up, I've got quicksilver leaking outta my ear! -- Lijdrec, 14:47:32 07/12/02 Fri [1]


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[> [> I was going to respond yesterday after reading your posts ... -- Phaedra, 14:56:08 07/12/02 Fri [1]

... you are a silver-tongued devil as well!!! Lot's of smooth comments below. Now, you have a mind like quicksilver, a silver tongue .... what color is your hair? ;-)


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[> [> [> It's getting there too.... -- Lijdrec, 16:06:50 07/12/02 Fri [1]

Though the silver-grey is so diffuse that it gives my hair the look that it's brown..... and ever lightening brown...... ;-( or ;-) not sure which, so as long as I'm not sure, it might as well be....;-)


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