| Subject: FIC: Mistakes Chapter Three |
Author:
Haley J. The Bat
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Date Posted: 09:43:38 06/18/02 Tue
In reply to:
Haley J. The Bat
's message, "FIC: Mistakes" on 11:13:04 06/13/02 Thu
Just as a forewarning: hope nobody thinks this is degrading or blah blah blah. I only write this particular fic as an escape from the pressing reality of TRPA. This one is just a silly one I don't take seriously at all.
**********
Natalie wrenched open her eyes, panting. With a groan, she sat up in bed and reached for the glass of water next to her bed. She tried to do so quietly, not wanting to wake her room mate, Melanie.
When her thirst was quenced, she laid back down on her bed and went over the images of the dream she'd had, the one that had woken her up. It wasn't a dream really -- more of a replay of images; images involving Hayden Christensen, her friend turned . . . awkward person she'd slept with on a whim whom she still had a movie to make with. Natalie groaned again. She attempted to hide it beneath her pillow, but Melanie was a light sleeper.
There was a rustle of sheets coming from the bed a few feet away from her own. "Natalie?" Melanie whispered, fear lacing her voice. "That'd better be you."
Natalie, figuring they were both already awake, reached to turn on the light on her nightstand. She looked over at Melanie, whose eyes were drowsy-looking and blinking against the sudden invasion of light in the dark.
"What's wrong?" Melanie croaked.
"Nothing," Natalie said quickly. "I just had a nightmare, that's all." There was no way she'd tell Melanie what had happened -- she trusted Mel with all her heart, but she had to keep what happened with Hayden a secret.
Melanie shook her head, a frustrated look on her face. She knew Natalie was lying. Instead of reprimanding her though, a smile lit up her face. "Hey, maybe waking up so early wasn't such a bad idea."
"Why?"
"It's the first day of Christmas break!" Melanie cried. She threw back her blankets, all tiredness erased from her body. "We're going *home*. You'll get to see your mom again." Melanie stopped from the little dance she had begun, suddenly serious and contemplative. "Maybe a break is what you need."
"Am I really getting that stuffy?" Natalie joked. Less enthusiastic than her room mate, she climbed out of bed. Immediately she began to make it again.
"Now that's a completely different issue," Melanie joked right back. "What I *mean* is, you've been feeling so tired lately because of exams. When you come back you should be as good as new."
"I certainly hope so," Natalie grumbled. She picked up her alarm clock and let out a gasp. "It's three in the morning!"
"I know," Melanie said sadly. "If we were normal college students we'd just be getting home from partying." She smiled slyly at Natalie. "Too bad we grew up with stuffy parents who knocked sense into us."
"Too bad," Natalie repeated absently, not really listening to her friend. She clutched tightly on the side of the bed, feeling a moment of queasiness that rocked her whole body. She swallowed, tightening her grip even further, waiting for the spell to pass.
"Are you all right?" Melanie asked nervously.
Natalie shook her head roughly. "I think--" she choked out "--I'm going to be . . . sick." With that, she ran to the bathroom, ignoring the sudden wave that hit her as she shook up her stomach. Once she reached the toilet she threw the top open and barely got her hair out of the way before she was vomiting.
What seemed like hours later, Natalie came out of the haze to find Melanie soothingly rubbing her back, and her face covered in sweat. She gagged once more at the smell that hit her nostrils, but she had nothing left to throw up. Shakily, she stood and flushed the toilet. She leaned against the sink and began to splash warm water on her face, wanting to rid herself of the sweaty, grimy feeling that overcame her. Once this was accomplished she reached for her toothbrush.
"Natalie . . ." Melanie trailed off, trying to think of the right words. "Maybe you're sicker than you thought."
Natale gave her a 'duh' look, pausing momentarily in mid stroke of her brush.
"If I didn't know any better . . ." Melanie trailed off again, this time blushing just the slightest bit.
"What?" Natalie demanded through the foaming toothpaste. She spit it in the sink and began to run the water.
"Nothing."
"No!" Natalie said more forcefully. She looked up to give Melanie her best hard stare. "Tell me what you were going to say."
"I was going to say that if I didn't know all about your love life -- or lack thereof, by no fault of your own, I assure you . . . well . . ." Melanie let the unfinished sentence hang in the air.
Natalie groaned, fear clutching at her heart.
"But it's okay," Melanie said quickly. "I'm sure it's just the flu. After all . . . there's no way . . . I mean . . ."
Natalie shook her head. She let herself fall to the ground. She had never thought about that possibility. It *was* entirely possible. She and Hayden hadn't been completely responsible, she knew. She just hadn't thought about it at the time. And exams had come up so soon after, she was more focused on her classes than the aftermath of her stupid mistake.
"Natalie, there *is* no way that this is possible, right?" Melanie asked, voice firm, demanding a straight, honest answer. She sat down across from Natalie, studying her best friend's grimacing face.
"I--" Natalie stopped before she could finish. What was she supposed to say? 'Yeah -- Hayden and I had a little romp about a month ago. I just forgot to tell you.' Melanie would be *furious*.
"Oh, no," Melanie said, letting her head fall into her hand. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"I wanted to pretend it didn't happen," Natalie whispered truthfully. That was what she'd been doing -- wasn't it? She thought that by pretending eventually she'd believe it. Then things with Hayden wouldn't be so awkward.
"Was the guy that repulsive?" Melanie asked, trying to lighten the tension in the room. Natalie didn't meet her eyes. "Nat, tell me who it was."
Natalie felt tears building. "Well . . . remember when I went to that premiere of Hayden's movie? For moral support?" Natalie asked. She left the rest to Melanie's imagination.
"Oh, my God! You slept with some guy across the country -- in L.A.?" Melanie shook her head. "Do you even know his name?"
"Hayden," Natalie said, her voice timid and afraid as she stared at Melanie with wide, fearful eyes. That name seemed to break her down, and she let the tears flow. She wasn't usually emotional, but she couldn't stop herself.
Melanie held her, attempting to rock away the tears. When Natalie finally calmed down, reduced to an occasional sniffle, Melanie began to try reassurance. "You don't know for sure. Maybe it is just the flu. After all, it is flu season . . ."
Natalie nodded. "I don't know for sure," she repeated firmly, trying to make the words seem believable.
"There's a Wal-Mart nearby," Melanie said softly. "You stay here and rest. I'll go get you a pregnancy test."
Natalie caught her friend's hand as she stood and gave Melanie a smile. "Thank you," she whispered hoarsely.
"Don't worry." Melanie flashed her a smirk. "You're going to repay me by giving me all the juicy details once I get back."
Natalie laughed as Melanie left. The laughter faded, and suddenly Natalie felt very alone. She hugged her knees to her body as she heard the door to their dorm shut gently. Pregnancy was the only logical answer, but a glimmer of hope was still present.
If she was pregnant, though . . . what was she going to do? An abortion? Adoption? Or could she keep the baby? Natalie felt confused, and she tried to silence her mind, wanting a moment of calm serenity. She didn't want to think about this now. What if she was worrying over nothing? She still wasn't sure.
Natalie wished Melanie would get back as soon as possible. The flip-flops in her stomach and the thoughts racing in her mind were hard to bear.
* * * * *
"I'm not touching that!" Melanie shrieked in protest, a disguted look on her face.
"Just look at it, Mel," Natalie pleaded. "I'm too scared; I can't do it. Please?"
"This is totally gross," Melanie grumbled, shooting Natalie a death stare. "Those details had *better* be juicy, Natalie . . ." She went into the bathroom and returned a few seconds later, a grim look on her face.
"What?" Natalie asked worriedly. "It's not . . ."
"It's only one test," Melanie said quickly. "You don't know for sure until you go the doctor."
Natalie's face fell. She dropped backwards on her bed, feeling a strange tightening in her chest. She let a hand stray to her stomach. She didn't *feel* pregnant, but the test had said ninety-nine percent accurate on the box. Could she really be that one percent? Natalie shook her head; nobody was that lucky, especially her. As much as she wanted to deny it, the test was right. She and Hayden hadn't taken any precautions.
"What am I going to do?" Natalie whispered hoarsely, more to herself than Melanie.
Melanie sat beside her on the bed and began to stroke her hair comfortingly. "You still don't know if it's true. You can get an appointment with a doctor over Christmas break."
"Oh, my God," Natalie moaned, sudden realization hitting her hard in the stomach. "I'm leaving for home today! What am I going to tell my parents?"
Melanie stopped her stroking. She obviously hadn't thought about that. "I'm sure they'll be supportive. Your mom and you are really close." There was still a little flicker of doubt in Melanie's words.
"I know they'll be supportive, but they're going to be disappointed," Natalie said. "They'll be great about it all, and it will just make me feel worse. I'm supposed to be responsible. How can I break it to them that I'm a pregnant teen."
"You're twenty-one," Melanie pointed out. "You're legally old enough to drink. That should mean you can do anything. You're not a child anymore, they know that."
"My baby's going to be born in wedlock," Natalie continued, looking horrified. "She's probably going to have to have all kinds of therapy. I'm going to be a terrible mother!"
"No you're not," Melanie soothed. "You've got a lot on your mind right now. Why don't you wait a few days to think about it. You know, you don't even have to keep this baby if you don't want to. You could give it up for adoption or . . . you know, an abortion."
A frown crossed Natalie's face. "That would be the easiest choice," she murmered. She shook her head as if trying to shake away her thoughts. "What am I going to tell Hayden?"
"Which reminds me, what the hell happened?" Melanie asked, a little bit of anger in her voice. "I mean, I know he's hot, but . . . well, what happened?"
"I don't know," Natalie admitted. She closed her eyes as if trying to shut the memories out. "I wasn't acting like myself. I attacked him."
Melanie bit back a giggle. "Sorry, I just had this image in my head . . . Anyway, he must be a jerk if you two aren't even going out. You aren't going out, right? There aren't more secrets you're hiding, right? Perhaps Ewan McGregor is--"
"Melanie!" Natalie shrieked. She laughed. "Ewan? Come on . . . No. We're not going out. *Hayden* and I, I mean. I haven't even talked to him since it happened."
"There you go, he's a jerk. He doesn't need to know."
"I didn't exactly leave him on good terms."
"What did you do?" Melanie asked warningly.
"I woke up, and I got scared. I didn't want to ruin our friendship." Natalie paused, gathering up the courage to blurt the rest out. "So I left him in his hotel room without telling him I was leaving. I didn't even leave a note."
"Wow." Melanie's eyes widened. "You should have at least called him."
"I know, I know," Natalie said, brushing her words off. She didn't need to call Hayden. He didn't even have to know about any of this. They could just make the movie together and never see each other again. It was that simple.
"Maybe you should call him now."
"Yeah, right, and tell him about . . . *this*?" Natalie gestured to her stomach. There was a long pause as Natalie considered all of her options. "I really don't want to have an abortion."
"Then don't," Melanie said supportively.
"I really don't want to give the baby up for adoption either. What if later on, when I'm more mature, I want to see my child?"
"Then keep your baby," Melanie said. "Your family and friends will help you, Nat, don't worry. We'll get you through this."
Natalie looked up at her best friend, a warm smile on her face. "Thank you, Melanie," Natalie whispered. She sat up quickly and wrapped her best friend in a tight hug.
* * * * *
Natalie didn't leave it at that one test. She took several others throughout the day, wanting to be sure of it before she left for home. Each one of those tests came out positive.
Even though she wanted to spit it out to her parents, it took her all day long to gather her courage. After a dinner at a nice restaurant where they caught up on each other's lives, Natalie went to her old room and sat down in front of the vanity.
She closed her eyes and put a hand on her stomach. She imagined that her baby could sense her touch, could know that she was there for it. She still didn't feel pregnant. Melanie had bought her What to Expect When You're Expecting for reading on the plane, and Natalie had read that it usually didn't hit you until your stomach began to grow, or you heard the baby's heartbeat for the first time.
This brought more relief to her than she liked to admit. Natalie had thought something was wrong with her since she couldn't feel the child. People always talked about being able to sense a presence in their womb, and had worried over it more than she had even realized.
Natalie let go over her silly sentiments and reached for a brush.
The brush was taken out of her hands. Natalie let out a shriek in shock. In the mirror she saw her mother standing behind her, beginning to brush the chocolate tresses. Natalie closed her eyes, letting her mother baby her.
"Something's wrong," Natalie's mom said knowingly. "Can you tell me what it is?"
Natalie stayed silent for a long time. Finally, she began hesitantly. "I want to," she whispered brokenly. "I don't want you to think any less of me, though."
"I could never think any less of you, Natalie. You're my little girl, and I'll always love you. No matter what."
Natalie smiled, reassured by the words spoken with such sincerity. "I think . . . I mean, I *know*, well, I don't really know for complete absolute sure . . . the point is . . . I'm . . . a little bit pregnant."
Natalie's mom stopped brushing her hair. The air seemed to thicken with tension, and Natalie felt cold and numb, waiting for her mom's response.
Natalie felt her hair being brushed once more. "Have you taken a test?"
"I've taken several," Natalie said. She felt relief flood her, and the desire to just spill out everything to her mom was strong. "They were all positive." She reached behind her and stopped her mother's hand. The two women met each other's eyes in the mirror. "I'm so scared," Natalie whispered.
Natalie's mom dropped the brush and wrapped her arms around Natalie from behind. She rested her head on Natalie's shoulder, their eyes still locked in the mirror. "Don't be scared, Natalie. God has blessed you--"
"Blessed," Natalie snorted. "That's exactly what I was thinking."
Her mom sighed. She stood from Natalie's embrace and went to sit on her bed. She patted the spot next to her, indicating for Natalie to sit down. "Tell me everything, Natalie. We'll find a way to deal with this, don't worry."
"You're not mad," Natalie said in wonderment as she sat down.
"Of course not! Natalie, I believe that any choice you make is the most responsible one, the one right for *you*. I just want to be here to love and support you. You won't be alone during this time, I'm always going to be there, not even a little bit of shame or disgust on my face."
Natalie nearly broke down as her mother replayed all of her fears. She buried her head in her mother's shoulder and began to speak, telling her everything that had happened that morning and all about Hayden and her fears about their friendship.
The burden on Natalie's shoulder seemed to get lighter and lighter with each word, and Natalie was unbelievably glad that she got to talk to her mom so soon after she found out the news. There was no way she could make it through without her mother's warm, comforting words.
******************************
Hope nobody was offended! If you are, remember what I said at the top. If it's not realistic, please refer to the top of this.
*cough* review *cough*
Yeah, I'm subtle.
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