The BUFFYverse guide to dating (spoilers through S6) -- Better Buffy Fics

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Date Posted: 14:05:36 02/08/03 Sat
Author: Gyrus
Subject: The BUFFYverse guide to dating (spoilers through S6)

THE BUFFYVERSE GUIDE TO DATING

Whether you're a Slayer or just a Slayerette, your action-packed schedule can make finding the right guy extra-challenging. This helpful guide to Buffyverse men will save you valuable time and prevent seasons and seasons of wrenching romantic angst.

Type: Rich guys
Advantages: Incredible wealth
Disadvantages: Incredible wealth comes mainly from demon worship
Warning: To avoid pregnancy with demonic spawn, use a barrier method - like a door in the face.

Type: Jocks
Advantages: Nice pecs, abs, delts
Disadvantages: Self-absorbed; use words like "pecs", "abs", "delts"
Warning: Tend to end up gay, dead, or fish.

Type: Intellectuals
Advantages: Good conversation
Disadvantages: Purpose of good conversation is to get in your pants.
Warning: The mean ones will dump you, and the nice ones will be vampires by the third act.

Type: Nerds
Advantages: Handy technical skills
Disadvantages: Status as social outcast is surprisingly contagious
Warning: If they like robots or Timothy Dalton, run.

Type: Soldiers
Advantages: Physically fit; good at making the bed
Disadvantages: Overprotective, yet surprisingly needy; will criticize your choice of slaying garb
Warning: Olive drab and acronyms get old after a while.

Type: Vampires
Advantages: Disease-free; can help with your history homework
Disadvantages: Pigs' blood on the breath; vengeful ex-girlfriends a-plenty
Warning: This may be the best you can do.

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Replies:

[> LMAO -- DeepaD, 11:05:22 02/09/03 Sun

Hee hee. Ok, now I have to read the guide to dating for guys on the hellmouth. Or maybe Dating in the 21st Century: A guide for out-of-date vampires...
Looking forward to your next post!
Deepa D.

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