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Date Posted: 19:55:54 02/07/08 Thu
Author: bravo30 ((Think Billy Mays or that Broom Hunk))
Subject: Ernie Higgins and his happyness boys

I'm going to put you into a little hand-combed cotton number today, . Simple, but elegant, with slits at the sides that subtly reflect your worldly sophistication and sexual elan. We're goingto let this tough, no-nonsense Little Black Dress do all the talking, , by keeping the accessories to a minimum. We'll go with the pressed-steel auto-marque earrings and understated patent pumps by Yanni. You'll carry a kicky little purse made from a humanely-harvested box-turtle's shell on a quietly assertive strap of particolored faux Sillystring.

Makeup will be minimalist, in keeping with our stealth theme... just a little ebony lipstick and a touch of purple eye shadow. Nails? Short and clean, (Think Billy Mays or that Broom Hunk) with a classic salesman's hard-shine buff.

Of course you are dying to ask, "But which wig shall I wear?"

Well, , I want you to be daring! Be strong! Be aggressively, phallically understated in an overstated way! I want you to join my FASHION TERRORISTS!

What am I saying? Simple! SHAVE THAT HEAD, ! I'm talking a real hot lather, steaming towel, straight RAZOR SHAVE here, !! Then, hot-wax with natural tropical carnauba and buff to a brilliant shine. We'll round out your look with gold-leaf cladding for your remaining front tooth and a cruel little EYE PATCH!!!!!!!! You'll knock 'em dead, !

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