Reverend, if you wouldn't mind I'd like to study under you and finish becoming a Reverend. -- <font size = "4">The Drunks Bar </font size "4">

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Date Posted: 12:32:19 07/29/03 Tue
Author: Brother E.J. Looper
Subject: Reverend, if you wouldn't mind I'd like to study under you and finish becoming a Reverend.
In reply to: Rev. Mike Sutcliffe 's message, "What is this danged business that old people shouldn't be allowed to drive?" on 17:04:16 07/25/03 Fri

You sound like a righteous preacher, full of the fire of God's wrath for the reprobate sinners of this world!

I think we as Fundamentalist Christians need to become the embodiment of God's wrath. Too long, way too long, liberals and perverts have been having their way with this wayward world-doesn't matter if they're ragheads, blacks or Appalachian neanderthal throwbacks-that is metaphorically speaking, I think. I'm quite confused as to where possibly the Pace Clan fits in Creation.

I'm ready to apprentice. I have a modest yet effective collection of assault rifle. I also bring with me two assistants; some wards of mine.

E.Bobby Looper-This young man is ready to do God's will after a tulmultuous adolescence spent vandalizing property in Freehold Kansas, and a year spent captive at the aformentioned Pace Clan's compound high up in the Appalachian Mountains. He's prone to drink heavily, and is quite intensely angry... perhaps from having been reared mostly by his wayward uncle E. Dwayne Looper-a false prophet if ever there was one! Perhaps that's why sometimes he shoots his .40 Glock in our double-wide; he says it's a cleaning accident.

Penny Looper-A truly beautiful young woman. I've tried to steer her more toward the Lord. She's 5'8", long red mane of hair, lithe yet with ample, beautiful curvatures, jade green eyes, long 42" legs, not a misshapen elbow, knee, or corn, oh that luscious smile.

E. Bobby doesn't deserve her! However neither he nor myself can keep her on the straight and narrow! We keep her locked up in our trailer lest the perverts who own the Elko Ranchero in Christ-quote and unquote-get their filthy paws allover her perfect skin and take endless turns raping her... and the demon of sinful sex is in her because last week she got out! We thought if we took her clothes away she'd be too embarrased but she escaped anyway-and the whole trailer park did get their hands on her! We finally got her back four days later and all she could say was "i'm sorry but i needed it" needing sin is what her demon possessed mind is"!

Anyway, we are ready for a change to serve Christ for God's America. Will you take us in? We're at the Looper Ranchero in Christ trailer park just outside Elko, Nevada. We're at trailer 8.

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Replies:

You are never safe from the prying eyes of Almighty God... -- Reverend E. Dwayne Looper, 10:44:53 07/30/03 Wed
- YOU DONT WORSHIP THE REAL JESUS!!! -- Reverend Mike Sutcliffe, 12:30:17 07/30/03 Wed