VoyForums
[ Show ]
Support VoyForums
[ Shrink ]
VoyForums Announcement: Programming and providing support for this service has been a labor of love since 1997. We are one of the few services online who values our users' privacy, and have never sold your information. We have even fought hard to defend your privacy in legal cases; however, we've done it with almost no financial support -- paying out of pocket to continue providing the service. Due to the issues imposed on us by advertisers, we also stopped hosting most ads on the forums many years ago. We hope you appreciate our efforts.

Show your support by donating any amount. (Note: We are still technically a for-profit company, so your contribution is not tax-deductible.) PayPal Acct: Feedback:

Donate to VoyForums (PayPal):

[ Login ] [ Main index ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: 1, 2, [3], 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 ]

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Date Posted: 11:40:56 11/08/03 Sat
Author: Sinner-Man78
Subject: My new career: Porn King

It suddenly hit me this morning as I was deleting yet more e-mails for penis-lengthening: I am going to use these techniques! Not once, but as many times as it takes to develop the largest penis in the world!!!

Then, I will get some headshots taken, get an agent, and start my exciting, high-paying, fast-paced career as the Porn King. I will star in porn movies and maybe even live sex shows in Amsterdam where my fabulous and luxuriant penis will be lauded by an international audience.

With the rumors swirling that Prince Charles had a gay affair, gay is suddenly chic. Although I am not gay, I think that I now will choose to be gay while simultaneously choosing to be heterosexual. By choosing to be gay and straight at the same time, I can choose to double my income as the Porn King.

Choosing to be gay is probably as easy as choosing to open a Bible up and be a Christian. In fact, I have done a spreadsheet and have made comparisons between choosing to be gay and choosing to be a Christian:

In both lifestyles you must kneel to make the initial choice.

In both lifestyles you must accept a man into your life.

In both lifestyles you will be persecuted by others who hate you for what you are and what you do.

In both lifestyles you associate on a regular basis with others who are exactly like you.

In both lifestyles you can get shafted by people who are more dominant than you.

In both lifestyles you sometimes "dress up" for special occasions.

In both lifestyles you are asked to donate money for special causes.

In both lifestyles you vote the party line.

In both lifestyles you tend to "act normal" when you're not around others that understand.

So you see, being gay and being Christian are a lot alike. Having been a Christian I can say that I've been there and done that. Now I will choose to be gay. One problem: Where are the Jack Chick versions of gay tracts? The gay agenda is supposedly recruiting and yet I find no formal way to accept gayness into my heart and so affirm my choice. There is a sinner's prayer: is there no gay prayer? I cannot find one. Nor is there a gay bible. I cannot even find a copy of the gay agenda anywhere, yet the Christians say there is one. Darn! Here I have these big plans to choose to be both gay and straight at the same time and yet I don't know where to begin.

One possibility is Solomonic in its wisdom: I will be gay 25% of the time and heterosexual the other 25%. The remaining 50% of my time will be devoted to penis lengthening, making films, and sleeping. This sounds like a good lifestyle plan to me.

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Replies:

Post a message:
This forum requires an account to post.
[ Create Account ]
[ Login ]
Forum timezone: GMT-8
VF Version: 3.00b, ConfDB:
Before posting please read our privacy policy.
VoyForums(tm) is a Free Service from Voyager Info-Systems.
Copyright © 1998-2019 Voyager Info-Systems. All Rights Reserved.