I felt it coming over me! -- <font size = "4">The Drunks Bar </font size "4">

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Date Posted: 10:11:15 10/23/03 Thu
Author: New Rectified Believer (formerly OPB)
Subject: I felt it coming over me!
In reply to: Saved-Man78 's message, "My Plans as a New Creation in Christ Jesus" on 18:32:41 10/22/03 Wed

Last night as I sat in my office doing paperwork, I was spelendily converted by a vision of Jesus and Looper, just as was Paul on the road to Damascus (betcha didn't know that Loop was there, too; by the miracles of the Holy Trinity, Loop can travel through time with Jesus). A great light appeared in the forest outside my window, and filled the room, and I felt the weight of sin upon my heart; then Jesus came and lifted the burdens off my shoulders as I asked him to forever be my savior and Looper to forever be my spiritual advisor.

Over the next three hours, they extracted a number of promises from me; I have pledged:

(1) To stop masturbating;

(2) To stop having premarital sex;

(3) To stop taking opiate painkillers for psychological maladies--Looper will now be my counselor and will heal me with laying on of hands;

(4) To never allow the words "fuck," "shit" and "goddamn" be recorded in my studio again;

(5) To record Christian artists for free;

(6) To tithe to LooperWorks of Righteousness;

(7) To burn every book in my personal library and replace it with A KJV 1611 and the COLLECTED SERMONS OF E. PERCIVAL LOOPER (10 volumes).

Already, I feel my heart being remade in Jesus Christ. I didn't masturbate or sleep with anyone last night, and I have so far resisted the call of my opiate stash. I think I'll flush all the hydrocodone pills and morphine down the toilet (if SavedMan78 were still a sinner, I would consider sending the stuff to him).

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Replies:

Born Again Again -- Eric 2.0, 11:21:54 10/23/03 Thu