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Date Posted: 08:29:01 07/06/03 Sun
Author: Kathy
Subject: Your questions answered! Well, some, anyway.
In reply to: J. Croft 's message, "mmmm, tastes like... sweaty toefunk?" on 12:18:19 07/03/03 Thu

He can't sue us all.

The inestimable Neal Pollock started "Appropriate Michael Savage's Name For Your Own Purposes Day" in response to Savage's whining and lawsuits over three critical/parody sites. Here're some of Pollack's posts from those days:

Tomorrow You Must Savage Savage, And Other Matters [Jun 24, 2003]

After two weeks of very hard organizing, going house to house, precinct to precinct, putting in what we call in the business "serious hand time," the hour has arrived. Thursday, June 26, is Appropriate Michael Savage's Name For Your Own Purposes day. To see a complete description of what I'm talking about, go here. For a complete description of the silly lawsuit leveled against innocent websites by media "personality" Michael "Savage" Weiner, go here. Rally behind our shrill far-left brothers and sisters. Defend free speech. This site will be your headquarters to track results of the day. If you decide to Appropriate Michael Savage, email me, and I'll make sure your project gets seen by dozens.

Tomorrow we Appropriate Michael Savage's name. Let's take it in vain. He can't sue us all.

My Name Is Michael Savage, And I Am A Homosexual Who Enjoys The Private Company Of Immigrants [Jun 25, 2003]

(Editor's note: Today, as you know, is Appropriate Michael Savage's Name For Your Own Purposes Day, in response to the right-wing media personality Michael Savage's dumb-ass lawsuit against three websites that exist solely or largely to criticize him. I've requested that as many bloggers and other website-keepers as possible dogpile onto Mr. Savage, because he can't sue us all. Keep tuning in to my website all day today, as it will serve as a clearinghouse for all the participants. And if you like what you see here, consider donating, down a bit and to your right, to my band's tour fund. Having that financial stress off my plate will keep my website spicy all summer, and I know you like spicy sites.

Now then. I was going to Appropriate Michael Savage today, but as it turns out, I didn't have to. Mr. Savage sent me an email two nights ago, trying to explain himself. So here I present a letter from Michael Savage himself. Enjoy. --NP)

By Michael Savage

In the past year, I've received a lot of criticism, much of it unwarranted, from gay groups, many of whom have urged a boycott of my radio and television shows and of my book. They seem to think that just because I rant on and on about the "homosexual lobby" and "homosexual agenda," that I hate homosexuals. Nothing could be further from the truth. Such hatred, on my part, would be self-hatred. Because I, Michael Savage, am a homosexual.

Yes, that's right. Michael Savage is gay. Tell everyone. Michael Savage is a big fat old queer. And as such, I like doing the things that most gay people do, such as walking my dog, mowing my lawn, and eating dinner. I do all of those things as a homosexual.

Of course, I also enjoy having sex with men. I wouldn't be a homosexual if I didn't. But I'm a private person and try to keep that side of my life from view. Generally, on the weekends, I slip down near the border, to towns like El Paso or Calexico, or Nogales, and I wait in a certain spot, pre-arranged by a coyote. A new shipment usually comes in around dusk. If I see a man I like, I say to him, through an interpreter, "Welcome to America! Would you like to come back to my trailer for a beer and maybe a job?"

We usually talk for a while, this immigrant and I, and then I send the interpreter away, and then the fresh-faced Mexican or Guatemalan and I really go at it, whether he wants to or not. Oh, boy, do I, Michael Savage, love having gay sex with newly-arrived immigrants!

Oh, sure, when the sex is over, I'm ashamed of myself, and I generally arrange to have my partner taken back across the border. Then I go on the radio and fulminate about how the borders should be sealed. But about five days later, I feel the hunger gnaw my belly. I know for sure, once again, that I will slake my thirst with another bracero cocktail.

So, to conclude, I, Michael Savage, media personality who sues websites for appropriating my name for their own commercial purposes, am also a homosexual who loves to fuck immigrants. Shout it aloud! Michael Savage is gay, gay, gay! I am ashamed no more!

Savage Appropriations [Jun 26, 2003]

Today is a bad day for Michael Savage. The Supreme Court has struck down Texas' ban on consensual gay sex. It's a major victory for those of us everywhere who enjoy having sex without fear of getting arrested. It's a major loss for people, like Justice Scalia and Michael Savage, who oppose the "homosexual agenda."

I'm sure Savage is busy whipping himself in a froth at the thought of men giving each other blowjobs. But how can he miss the onslaught of websites that are appropriating his name for their own purposes? He cannot; the protest has begun.

As for me, I am struggling along. Our funding did not get cut, and my energetic boss is pulling blood from the stones of small-town United Way offices as well. She is very good. We are finally looking to bite the bullet and buy a house, prompted by the apparently imminent sale of our beloved 3/2 $585/mo duplex. We knew it was too good to last, I suppose. We would have liked to have bought it ourselves, but the realtor they are using to sell the place done pissed us off, and vice versa, so we will look elsewhere. And John finally has the manicure table of his dreams, you know. And we saw 28 Days. So life is balanced, I guess. No one from the Justice Dept. has dragged us away yet, anyway.

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