Date Posted:08:27:56 01/20/03 Mon Author:Eric Subject: Hollywood stars never die, they just...
...reappear on TBN. Last night, after our guests had left, Kelli and I were doing a little channel surfing while waiting for Godot. As we flipped past TBN Kelli stopped, exclaiming that one-time TV star Kirk Cameron was preaching. I disagreed saying that though the preacher resembled the circa '85 star of Growing Pains, it was someone else. Kelli doggedly decided to place a wager on it. If the speaker of the analogy-laden message on converting Jews and Moslems was indeed Kirk Cameron, I would be responsible for cleaning all the dishes for three days. If I was correct that it was not Kirk Cameron, I would enjoy a specific fruit of marital bliss.
For the first time ever, I have now had occassion to share the pain of a Hollywood star forced to shill for TBN. My reproductive urge remains unrelieved and the cuffs of my shirt are damp and cold with dishsoap and water. Kirk stares at me from the television, like a forlorn shade, telling me that one must suffer to understand the saving light of Christ. Tonight, Kirk, we suffer together.
