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Date Posted: 00:05:10 05/08/05 Sun
Author: all
Subject: responses
In reply to: Deborah 's message, "Devil's Advocate . . .Inside" on 23:57:54 05/07/05 Sat

I thought of that myself, but in my mind, that is why they had the General in the last scene. He really is not a close friend of Harm and Mac's, so I choose to believe that he is there to see for himself how much Harm and Mac love each other, and how much they are willing to give up for each other. I think he will find a way to keep them both in. IMHO (NT) -- spudz, 22:19:24 05/01/05 Sun

I think that each does not want to ask the other to give up their career, so they picked the coin and let fate decide. (NT) -- GS, 22:20:39 05/01/05 Sun

Exactly. And Mac already told Harriet she wouldn’t mind her life so I can see her happy in civilian life raising a family and practicing law or maybe teaching. If Harm was the one to leave can see him also practicing law by helping those less fortunate or opening his own flight school. Inside for rest. They had both realized even though they loved their careers they loved each other more and it was finally time to take the chance. It won’t be all sunshine and roses but they are in a place where they are ready to do whatever it takes to make it work. (NT) -- Hope, 22:22:02 05/01/05 Sun

Mac also said to Harriett at lunch that (paraphrasing) she was exhilerated by not knowing what was gonna happen in the next 20 minutes, and that she looked forward to whatever life threw her way. (NT) -- grits, 08:59:57 05/02/05 Mon

I forgot that part. I guess she got that in spades what could be more exciting and exhilarating then finally having the man you love ask you to marry him and have him say those 3 little words. (NT) -- Hope, 09:09:41 05/02/05 Mon

Deborah, can you "really" see either of them staying "in active" after getting out of the service?? That just isn't their style. Mac will be active in someway...practising law, teaching, helping others who need legal advice...and as Harm's wife he's gonna keep her plenty busy...LOL If Harm is the one who gets out of the service...we can see him practising law or flying . This isn't the end for either of them...LOL It's a great BEGINNING!!!!!!!!! Be postive they have found their way to one another...it's not about what one gives up but what one receives! (NT) -- CindyB (so happy for the both of them and so .......they've been thru enough.....sigh praying only good things for them), 22:21:44 05/01/05 Sun

Guess I'm saying is that it's best not to look 'back' but to look forward. Leave the past behind and focus on the future instead!!!! Build a firm foundation and a new career....they have a lot of years ahead more than behind.....we hope! LOL (NT) -- CindyB (just full of "inspirational" sayings), 22:42:17 05/01/05 Sun

They've obviously worked it out between them, and left it to chance. There is no reason that either of them couldn't retire at a later date to make things even if it becomes a problem. Especially Harm, because he already has his 20 years in. If the bloom leaves the rose, and there are difficulties, then there are things to be done about them. Harm and Mac aren't stupid, they'll find a way to make it work. They have to, they've never been able to be apart and be happy. (NT) -- Theresa, 22:42:26 05/01/05 Sun

I'm with Cindy/Theresa. EVERYONE makes some kind of sacrifice in a marriage. Hopefully, it's not always one who does the giving. Military marriages can be more challenging. Due to the constant moves, it's very difficult for the other spouse to have a "meaningful" career (job, yes, career, not really). As long as you are BOTH in the marriage for the right reasons, and the party being sacrificed for lets the other know how much they value and appreciate their contributions to their life together, it can work very well. (NT) -- CM>^.,.^< been there, done that, gave up the career for it, 06:07:19 05/02/05 Mon

I'm gonna disagree. Not *everyone* makes sacrifices in a marriage. Of course, those people usually wind up in Family Court. But yes, in good marriages, people make sacrifices for the relationship and their partners. It's what love and adult relationships are all about. And it's not just military marriages that can have trouble keeping a balance with 2 careers. In almost all two *career* marriages I know, someone has ultimately had to sacrifice. Sometimes it's been the husband, sometimes the wife. But it's the nature of the beast. (NT) -- Ann, 06:21:02 05/02/05 Mon

Ann, I have to disagree when it comes to military marriages, my friend. It's not like one partner loses everything, but one or the other at one time or another has to be the more flexible of the two. In the military because of the distances that are involved and the sheer danger of the job I believe the sacrifices are greater, It's a different animal...entirely. I know I saw alot of posts slamming Harriet for not being supportive of Bud and his career.(i.e. no sacrifice for what is best for Bud's career) I think I saw where she was coming from. As much as she admires and respects Harm and Mac her first concern is Bud. She is the one there when he comes home at night. She is the one who saw him struggle with his rehab. He has also really grown under the Generals leadership. Yes, she told Mac about rehab and doctors...but to my mind she saw the whole picture. IN order for Bud to stay 'grown up' he has to be out from under Harm and Mac as officers. Remember how well he did on the Seahawk??? He was on his own and he stepped up immediately. Harriet knows this about him...she had a ring side seat to everything...I dont think this was as much about her as it was about what was best for Bud in the long run. General Creswell is best for him right now...who knows what will be best in 3 years time..or how ever long Harms rotation as Force Judge Advocate is.(NT)-- mkim, 10:59:13 05/02/05 Mon

Well, Ann I will agree with you, not everyone does. I should have been more specific and said in GOOD marriages everyone makes sacrifices of some sort. It's never 50/50. Sometimes it's 99% by one and virtually nothing from the other. But if the couple is truly committed and really care about them success of THEM together, then it works. (NT) -- CM>^.,.^<, 12:59:58 05/02/05 Mon

I'm gonna chime in and say that if you have a good relationship, then the sacrifices are just things you do that are necessary for the benefit of the relationship. Who gives how much in the relationship doesn't really matter as long as both people are happy with the outcome. And as long as it's not abusive. (NT) -- NanaSue, 15:36:03 05/02/05 Mon

Deborah, I thought about the same thing. That was why I was asking for other options. Indeed, sacrifice could be the worst thing in a relationship. Like Spudz, I hoped the General could find a way to keep both of them. If not, Mac would be a more reasonable one to retire. It seems to me that Mac is willing to try different life styles. Like Cindy B, I do see Mac being happy for doing new things like teaching, practicing law.... etc. (and, I think she will be super in new roles :). On the other hand, Harm seemed to be a "military type". (NT) -- Acer, 23:57:44 05/01/05 Sun

BTW, I am looking for jobs for them in San Diego and Landon during my lunch today! LOLOL.... I am pathetic plus obsessive!!!! ;) (NT) -- Acer.... Who would use any excuse not to work ;)!!, 00:14:16 05/02/05 Mon

LOL Acer. So what did you find? (NT) -- Hope, 00:41:40 05/02/05 Mon

Still working on it, Hope :):)!! I was checking on the website of the US embassy in London, then US JAG website. Also, I found there is a Naval Justice School in San Diego. It is educational ;)!! (NT) -- Acer, 01:20:02 05/02/05 Mon

Remember, gang. Harm and Mac (no matter which one quit) are going to have a HUGE project for at least the next year or two. Mattie will likely need serious care and rehab for the near future. THAT is a job in itself and one not working in a high pressure job for a year or would likely be a Godsend. Add to that their desire to have a child and Mac's fertility issues, I'd say whoever quit would have a pretty full plate no matter what--and I'm guessing it's going to be Mac anyway. (NT) -- CM>^.,.^<, 06:18:33 05/02/05 Mon

The fun part is that each of us can make it end any way we choose. I have already ended it in my mind and would just like you all to know that Captain Rabb, Mac and Mattie are a very happy family. Oh, and they have a dog now....named Kip.... *smile* (NT) -- HiG thinking DPB really is a genius even if he does cause you to have ulcers along the way.... grrrrrrrr, 06:44:55 05/02/05 Mon

...oh yeah, I want to add that my heart can't take another DPB production....lol (NT) -- Angst-Free HiG and staying that way!!!, 06:56:19 05/02/05 Mon

Preach it ladies and let's not forget Harm and Mac are not young forever. I also kept remembering what matters to Mac most in eps Vanished-Goodbyes and 4% Solution. Maybe I read too many fairytale books and watch many Disney movies so once I have the happily ever after I dont dwell on the dark and sadly ever after. I guess in fantasyland and RL Im a firm believer on leap of faith and that love and the good always prevails. (NT) -- Lois, 23:59:45 05/01/05 Sun

The good thing is that in our fertile imaginations and those of our great ff writers anything is possible now that (the ugly) JAG is over. IMHO they both will be happy. We can't depend on anyone else making us happy anyway, our happiness is our own responsibility. I'm sure that H/M/M will find the happiness that they all three (Mattie)deserve.Does that help?(NT) -- Terre, 01:11:15 05/02/05 Mon

Terre, well said... Maybe, I will believe they are happily married and both stay in the service :):)!! (NT) -- Acer..... Hey!! FF writers, I am begging here ;)!!, 01:21:21 05/02/05 Mon

The nice thing (the ONLY nice thing!) about the end of the series is that we can imagine anything we want to happen next, and we won't run afoul of what "really" happened. (NT) -- Deemus, 05:44:57 05/02/05 Mon

Guess my rose colored glasses never left me. I'm in year 23 and I'd drop the career in a heartbeat for the Mrs. I'm goofier now for the Mrs. then I was when we got started and I was pretty far gone then. Guess I'll go count my lucky stars. I'd like to believe in that one moment, H&M realized in the end, the career means nothing compared to the person you share your life with. (NT) -- Dan, 01:04:50 05/02/05 Mon

Exactly Dan! That is why they let fate decide. They are so happy that they don't care how fate decides. They just don't want the other to make the sacrifice. I love the ending. Neither want to be on top. They are no longer in competion, and they are joyful in their love. (NT) -- Cece, 02:14:58 05/02/05 Mon

Sheesh,,,,I can't type. That should be "competition". Anyway, the way they decided to handle things made them happy....and that is what matters. Whatever it takes to keep them together forever. Wow..talk about romantic. This was more romantic than seeing them in bed making love. Sigh! (NT) -- Cece ( I thought the ending was very clever. DPB knew it would keep us talking about it. But there is no way we can be upset by one of them resigning for the other.), 02:32:30 05/02/05 Mon

I agreed. It was a very clever ending :)! I loved it :)! The open-ending of the coin toss is much better than a definite results ;)! Either way, some fans would be unhappy. (NT) -- Acer, 04:43:51 05/02/05 Mon

If you love the person enough you won't resent them. That's what LOVE is all about. NOT being selfish. And that kind of resentment is just SELFISH. (NT) -- harmsgirl, 08:26:04 05/02/05 Mon

Maybe harmsgirl. But if you love someone, you don't want them to make sacrifices for you. You want them to be happy. This way, Harm and Mac would not let the other one make the sacrifice. Who knows, if Mac had won "tails", she might have decided to resign. But that would have been her decision, and Harm wouldn't feel he'd made her be the one to give it all up. Oh and resentment, guilt, anger, jealousy, and even selfishness, are all a part of being human. All of us have to fight to make sure that none of these emotions take over, but we can't always stop them entirely. (NT) -- Cece...These two have fully accepted whatever fate decides. They are happy just to be together forever, whatever happens. And that is called give and take...not selfishness., 13:18:26 05/02/05 Mon

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