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Date Posted: 15:57:34 07/04/02 Thu
Author: Alternativ
Subject: Jack Who?

[A sudden pyro goes off, and the lights flash black and red. Eminem's "Superman" plays on the Titan Tron, and Alternativ walks out to some boos. He cockily struts to the ring. Alternativ takes a microphone]

A: Well, ladies and gentalmen, I give to you, the FUTURE of pro wrestling, THE JACKEL!

[Crowd Chants "JACKASS! JACKASS! JACKASS!"]

A: Chant all you want. It just shows your true jealousy of me. Now, if you want a reason to chant jackass, look at my opponent in teh World title tournament. I'm talkin' about Jack Squat! I mean, just hearing his name, makes me have no respect for whoever is in charge of the roster here!

[Crowd Boos]

A: The only thing these jackasses did right, was hire the greatest wrestler of all time. ME! Because as soon as I come on television, the ratings shoot through the roof! You people boo me. You people call me a jackass. But you people still listen to everything I say. You people still love to see the Jackel. And you know why? Because I'm entertaining! Because I am everything that is fresh with the world today! Because I am Alternativ. And I am here to save UWA from the clutches of boredom. I will show you all an example tonight, when I kick Jackass Squat's ass, and move on in the tournament! And that's not just the punchline, that's the Truth! OH MAN!

[Alternativ tosses the microphone, and "Superman" plays again, as Alternativ leaves.]

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