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Date Posted: 14:51:54 07/03/02 Wed
Author: Cervantez Cortez
Author Host/IP: ool-435200f3.dyn.optonline.net / 67.82.0.243
Subject: Cervantez Cortez does a little interview...

The scene opens up to the UWF arena where a house show is taking place. Two UWF jobbers, Mike Nesmith and Jon Stunning have just finished a grueling match when *Live for the Moment* by Monster Magnet hits. Cervantez Cortez and a monster of a man in a black robe. He's got to be at least eight feet tall. Cervantez Cortez has a microphone.

Cortez
Hey fellas, I'm gonna need a little help, why don't you both step back in the ring, it will only take a few minutes.


The two men shrug and comply.

Cortez
Thank you very much, believe me, you will be very well rewarded.


Cervantez Cortez makes his way down to the ring along with the mystery man. They both enter the ring and Cervantez Cortez raises the microphone once again.

Cortez
As I've said, this will only take a few minutes, I just want to ask you both a few questions. First one, and be honest fellas, who do you think will be crowned the first UWF Ultimate Heavyweight Champion?

Jon Stunning
Hmm, I'll have to say Outlaw on that one.

Cortez
Alright, that's a good answer. Very good. Now, what do you think?

Mike Nesmith
Oh, well, that's a tough one. I would say Outlaw, but I actually think it will be Damien Casanova, the Personification of Evil. He seems to be a very tough competitor.

Cortez
Well, not what I was expecting, but again, a very good answer. Now, let's move on. We're gonna play a little game. It's called Word Association. I say a word and you both reply with the first thing that comes to your mind. Okay?


Both men nod.

Cortez
Perfect, ready... the first word is, bus.

Jon Stunning
School.

Mike Nesmith
Broadway.

Cortez
You two are good at this, but unfortunately, those were not the answers I was looking for. The valid responses in this case would've been loser, jobber, NOT A CHANCE.


The two men look confused.

Cortez
You see, the thing is this...


All of a sudden, Jon Stunning gets caught in the face with a spinning wheel kick by Cervantez Cortez. Mike Nesmith realizes he's in trouble now and charges towards Cervantez Cortez. The mystery man catches Mike by the throat and CHOKESLAM!! Mike Nesmith is laid out! Cortez, with one leap, scales the turnbuckle. Five Star Splash! He picks the microphone back up.

Cortez
I made a mistake. Your answers to the first question were wrong. In fact, there's a unanimous answer. The first UWF Ultimate Heavyweight Champion will be yours truly, Cervantez Cortez. But that's not the reason I'm out here right now. The reason I interrupted the show tonight has to do with my match tomorrow night against none other than, The Buss. You see, I didn't need to, but I decided to do a little research on my opponent and I come to realize, something is very wrong. This man is nothing, but a thief, not a very bright thief at that. Does anyone realize what this poor excuse of a wrestler's finisher is? No, not the Bus Stop, which I gotta say is a BIG improvement. No, it's the Steiner Recliner! Come on! Copyright infringement! I'm gonna do the Genetic Freak a favor and destroy this man when I step into the ring with him. The only reclining he'll be doing is in a hospital bed, but let's continue. What was the next thing you think I saw when I was doing my research? Yep, that's right, cornball theme music. I mean, don't get me wrong, the nWo is great, but I think they'd be more than a little upset when they realize how much disgrace this man is bringing to their colors. This man would never and could never run with the pack. Oh, and I hear things aren't going well with you and Mrs. Buss, huh? What makes me say that, you ask? Hit it fellas.


*Another One Rides the Bus* hits and Cortez begins laughing.

Cortez
Ahhhh, that's great. You better keep an eye on her. But on a serious note, Buss, tomorrow night, I guarantee will be one of your last times in the UWF ring, because when I have you in that ring, you will think it's the 15th Century as the Spanish Inquisition hits and you're knocked out cold on the mat. The refs hand will hit the mat three times and that will be it. Buss, see you for the first and last time tomorrow..... Ahh man, Another One Rides the Bus, heh, god DAMN I'm good!


*Live for the Moment* by Monster Magnet hits and the crowd boos as the two men make their exit. Jon Stunning and Mike Nesmith are still laid out at ringside. The scene fades to black.

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