| Subject: The script continues |
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Date Posted: 02:43:52 07/09/02 Tue
In reply to:
's message, "Re: The Script begins" on 16:49:08 07/08/02 Mon
>Tim moves quickly, yelling through the tape, but his
>words can't be understood. He keeps looking to his
>right as if someone is there listening. greg is still
>sitting on the side of the road. A car pulls up next
>to greg. The driver is heavy-set and middle aged -
>professional looking.
>
>Driver
>You need some help, boy?
>
>Greg nods his head *yes*. He struggles to get to his
>his feet. We see the driver grimace as we hear greg
>take a bad fall followed by a muffled scream.
>
>Tim stops walking and looks back to see greg getting
>in the car. Greg is now in the car. Tim starts to
>head back - he is a good distance from the car.
>
>Driver
>You need some help with that tape?
>
>Greg
>Umph-humph
>
>The driver pulls the tape off of gregs face. Vomit
>spills out of Greg's mouth and his nose starts to
>bleed.
>
>Driver (chuckling)
>Oh my, you're a mess
>
>Greg
>Yes I fucking am, ass-devourer.
>
>Greg has trouble with the last line because of the
>blood and vomit. He is now sneezing and hiccupping.
>
>Driver
>Oh my...
>
>We see Tim fall in the distance. He gets up and we
>are now following Tim to the car. It starts to drive
>in Tim's direction.
>
>Greg
>Pick him up, fuckface
>
>Driver
>Three's a crowd
>
>The car ZOOOOOOOMs past Tim. Vomit starts to shoot
>out of Tim's tape. he is screaming as he vomits. The
>force of the puke then shoots the tape of his face.
>He keeps his screams coming out of him. As his
>screams become intelligible we hear this:
>
>Tim
>Gobbling everything in sight like you own the place!
>FUCK YOU, STUPID SHIT!...
>
>In the car we can see that Greg has covered his side
>of the windshield in blood and vomit and maybe a
>little snot.
>
>Greg
>Let me out, fatstuff!
>
>Driver
>I don't appreciate that, son...
>
>Greg
>I'm not your son, moron
>
>Tim is now in hysterics
>
>Tim
>...I let you win that time you supreme masturbator.
>
>We cut to a scene of two cartoon characters - one has
>clearly been undergoing chemotherapy, the other is a
>troll.
>
>Chemo
>What is it about us that people like best - our
>personalities or our looks?
>
>Troll
>I think its our knowledge...they want to know what we
>know.
>
>Chemo (frantic)
>OH MY GOD IN HEAVEN! WHAT IF THE CHILDREN OF TODAY
>STEAL OUR BRAINY TREASURES AND USE IT AGAINST US?
>
>Troll
>HAHAHAHHA
>
>Chemo
>What's so funny?
>
>Troll
>We would never let that happen.
>
>2 years later in front of a class of eager fuckfaces
>
>Chemo and Troll (in unison)
>Who would like to know what its like to eat ice cream
>in a real 1950's nostalgia diner?
>
>Class
>YEAH!!
>
>Troll and Chemo wink at eachother and at their
>deficient lord - a grand cancerous troll named
>Canceroll!!
Once again we pull away from this scene to reveal it's on a TV set and find ourselves in
INT. OFFICE - DAY
Nancy is in the office, masturbating furiously to the image of these two cartoon characters. Her forehead sweats buckets.
Paul walks in pulling Jesus in by his shirt-collar.
Nancy looks up at them and continues to masturbate. Jesus's initial hesitation at coming in is suddenly overcome as he stares at his boss masturbating.
JESUS
wow
PAUL
We lost 'em.
NANCY
Oh yeah?
PAUL
Yeah. Maybe we should call animal control.
NANCY
Look I don't... care what it takes... but... ha... oh...
JESUS
wow wow wowie zowie.
NANCY
but... whatever it takes... I want you out of here.... and get me those boys...
PAUL
They could be anywhere!
NANCY
(as she ORGASMITIZES)
FIND THEM! OH!
PAUL
Fine. I'm calling the pound. Come on Jesus.
Paul walks out of the office. Jesus stays put and stares at Nancy.
JESUS
wow. What are you watching?
NANCY
PBS.
Paul walks back in.
PAUL
Jesus, do you mind? While we're young?
JESUS
Shit, sorry boss.
INT. HALLWAY - DAY
The hallway of the office building where Nancy works. And Paul. And Jesus. Hey that makes sense, huh?
Paul and Jesus walk down the hallway populated by extras.
PAUL
We gotta find 'em. But where could they be?
EXT. CONVERTIBLE - DAY
Tim, still handcuffed, sits in the backseat of a convertible populated by beautiful women. ANGIE, the driver, is a blonde. TRISHA, front passenger seat, a latin hottie. And MALI, back driver's side seat, is an oriental school-girl. She holds Tim's mouth shut with her hands.
They are all LAUGHING uproariously.
Tim is trying to scream at the top of his lungs.
MALI
What that you say big boy?
Tim screams some unintelligible words to them as Mali moves his jaw.
MALI
He say he want candy bars!
TRISHA
Los Candy bars?
MALI
Candy bars!
TIM shaking his head vigorously no over and over.
ANGIE
(begins to chant)
Boys go to Jupiter to get more Stupider!
THREE GIRLS TAKE UP THE CHANT
ALL
Girls go to Mars, to get more candy bars!
They laugh again as Trisha pounds a button on her passenger side door. The convertible suddenly transforms into a SPACESHIP and the car shoots off into the air!
They laugh as their convertible-car flies out of Earth's atmosphere. Tim is rocking furiously around trying to get out.
MALI
You so crazy! I love you big man! You love me?
Malie opens his mouth to talk for him, but vomit shoots out.
It splats on the windshield.
ALL GIRLS:
EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW GROSS!
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