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Date Posted: 18:28:32 11/11/00 Sat
Author: Dark Tiger
Subject: Promo Critic(Mentions Sonny, duh!)



((( Well, well, well. Sonny Maivia DeVine wants to have a battle of wits does he? That's pretty hard for someone with no brain. Ah well, if he wants one, he'll get it. Dark Tiger is more than ready to show off his mic skills and make fun of Sonny.

The scene opens up in a movie theater. It's a big one with big, red, cooshy, seats with cup holds. In the middle sit Tiger and Jack. They are both eating artificially buttered popcorn and smiling. Tiger smiles at the camera and waves. He beckons it closer and it comes. )))

Tiger: "Hello fans! Especially fans of Dark Tiger! Welcome to P&O's 'Promo Critic'! Yes! 'Promo Critic', the show where I do what I do best! Make fun of people's promos! Today I'm gonna make fun of Soony Maivia DeVine's latest promo! This jerk and loser can't pull off a promo at all. He doesn't even have grammar down correctly. What do I mean? I'll show you?"

((( The movie screen starts playing and plays a quote from Sonny's roleplay. )))

Replay of Sonny: "His and his little family."

((( The replay ends and Dark Tiger sits back and rubs his chin thougthfully. )))

Tiger: "Hmmm... His and his family.. Hmmmm.... I know English is a hard language, but common! I think you were supposed to say, 'He and his family' or somethin' like that. Anyway, on with the taunting."

((( Another replay begins to play. )))

Replay of Sonny: "I woke up after banging some bimbo"

((( Tiger leans over and whispers something to Jack. They both laugh histerically. Tiger finally gains control enough to speak. )))

Tiger: "You sicko! You were doin' your mom?! AAAAHAHAHAHAHA!"

((( They both slpa their thighs and Jack begins to choke on his popcorn until Tiger slaps Jack on the back. )))

Tiger: "Oh boy! This is the greatest idea I've ever come up with! Roll some more footage!!"

Replay of Sonny: "Kristine, Jack Otis."

((( Tiger and Jack laugh some more. )))

Jack: "Let me ask ya somethin', Sonny. How the hell did you know about me and Kristine? Huh?"

Tiger: "He's probably some stocker or somethin'! I wouldn't be surprised if he was some how spying on me while I was getting undressed last night!"

((( Tiger and Jack shake their heads and laugh and laugh and laugh. )))

Replay of Sonny: "Dark Tiger, you don't know who the hell I am so don't do one of your retarded promos and think that you scare me because all you do is annoy me and in the meanwhile your family, friends and fans will be the ones to suffer. "

Tiger: "A promo can't be retarded, you loser, it's not even living. Inanimate objects can't be mentally disadvantaged, you moron. The only one who's retarded is you, Sonny! And you don't even know where my family lives! The only family members that live in Boston are my Aunt and sister, and they're both martial artists who could kick you behind just as well as I can and will."

Replay of Sonny: "Sonny Maivia DeVine never rolls without the Institution"

Tiger: "I'm sure you don't and that's porbably how you'll win, too. You'll have your friends and bed partners help you out when I'm about to break your head open with a Dark Driver."

Replay of Sonny: "It's HAMMERING TIME!!!!"

Tiger: "Whatever. The only hammer time you'll get is when I smash your head open on the mat."

((( Tiger just shakes his head. )))

Tiger: "Look, man, you are nothing but a no-talent loser! You don't see me goin' around beatin' up your fans, do you? The answer is no, stupid. Why? Because the only ones you have are your mom and mabey some other idiot, loser, geeks such as yourself. And I'm not about to comit crimes- that is except for killing your mom- that would be a public service, because she committed the crime of givin' birth to you! Anyway, I'll see you at Insurrection, Sonny. And it might be the last time you'll be able to go to an Insurrection without a wheel chair and the aide of a nurse. Later..

((( The screen fades to black. )))


" I am what I am- and a whole lot more!" -----Dark Tiger



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