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Date Posted: 22:38:07 11/09/00 Thu
Author: The Pita Carmen Valentine
Subject: Your arresting me? Dry sex (not too much) with Nick Stern and more!! 17 and older please!


(>The locker room could be a literall flood of wrestlers and movie stars coming to visit and or working, if you think it's sometimes hard to manage your way through the crowed arena then count your blessings because the backstage area is almost as hetic and with Stacey Jordan's beating to deal with EMT's were running around like flies to sh!t of course to Carmen that's what they were doing, running to a truck/ambulance load of bare, sour, 133 pound, 25 year old sh!t Carmen didn't see all the fuss over one chick anyway moreso a drug user. She sat there wrapping up her wounds cross legged in her women's power suit her sandal dangling from her foot, and with a twirl of tissue stuck up her nose still bleeding from that b!tch Mai's attack. Carmen would have been able to do away with Stacey herself had that trollop Mai haden't interfeared! BLAST HER!! Why'd she have to come into the picture! Carmen was fine dealing with only Stacey "The crack-monkey" Jordan now she had to deal with another Himagaji b!tch! Reporters and fans had surrounded her asking their usual questions, "I don't want to talk to these idiots" she thought to herself. Without saying anything Carmen hoped off the GWA marked crate and walked over to a cigerette vending machince she sighs looking at the price $3.45 for a box of KOOLS, CAMELS A ASTOUNDING FREAKIN' $4.99, and SWEET LAWD Benson & Hedges Gold $7.99 a pack! Joy was about ready to appear on one of those "Truth" ads. What redneck @-wipe thought that he could charge the PITA (Pain in the ass) a full 7.99 for a box of squares! And anybody who knows Carmen knew she depended on that wrasslin' check at the end of the week...yes it was true this woman could go through a twelve thousand dollar check in 20 mintues flat. Where could she score 8 bucks from, it would have to be from someone stupid, someone gullible...someone like...Valentines eye's filled with Glee as she seen the village idiot Nick Stern make his way down the hall chasing after some 'rent money' wrestler' Carmen stuck her hand up and pulled him against her resting her back on the cigerette machine, she twirled his tie up closer to her face with a seductive smile, Nick's eye's swell as Carmen licks across her lips.<)

Nick:Uhh hey Carmen...how's it going?

Carmen:(More seductivly than usual)Mmm, okay how about you Nick?

(>Carmen pulls Stern closer to her, this funny, funny dressed man, equipped with a blazer tie and dress shirt he looked handsom but the lower half would turn any common job interviewer off his bermuda themed shorts with african prints was a definate fashion no-no, Carmen cracked her famous crooked grin and knowing that most men's weakness would be the feel of nylons decided to use the one's she had on..sliding her foot out her sandal she raises her leg up his unshaven and dog-like hairy legs, Nick's eye's rolled to the back of his head as Carmen placed her index finger on the corner of her lip she allowed Nick to hold her thigh in his hand reaching around she slid her hands down into Nick's pockets squeezing his rear, Nick was speechless Carmen continued sliding her foot up and down Nick's lower leg, Carmen squeezed his rear again and seemingly finds what she's looking for, she smiles at Nick and lowers her leg again this time slipping her foot down into her sandal she unwraps Nick's tie away from around her hand and reaches into her power suits pocket and pulls out a business card, she tucks the card away in Nick's pocket with a smile she pats Nick on the side of the face.<)

Carmen:Call me?

Nick:(Out of breath)Uh---huh.

(>Carmen turns Nick around and pats him on the butt, on-lookers are stunned as Nick wobbles away bent over slightly caused from his wants to lose himself in sweaty abandon with Carmen and the "benefits" of being pulled agaist her, Carmen frowns as Nick waddles away, she reaches into her coats pocket and pulls out Nick's wallet she unfolds it and opens it..ONLY 10 DOLLARS!!! JUST WHAT KIND OF HELL JOURNALIST IS HE ANYWAY..Carmen frowned at the wallet and almost swore she saw a fly zoom out making a sound remotely close to "Freeeeee" Carmen shaked her head and inserted the ten dollar bill into the machine, it was then that she remembered that she didn't smoke nevertheless a few months ago she wasen't a wrestler either but now was reguarded by few as one of the most hated women in the sport. She looked over the display of chocies and decided on Newports she pushed the botton and watched a a small orange light indicating they were out flashed, Carmen cursed Big tobacco and there sponsors and went for the off-brand Misty's two boxes fell out for Carmen's ten dollar fee she quickly took both boxes stuffing one away in her purse and opened the other quickly stuffing a cigerette into her mouth, a tap on the shoulder turned Carmen around. Who would dare tap Carmen a woman obviously deprived of sex, money, job-security and friendship during her recently formed cigerette break this was just like sex to her, did she need to hang a 'do not disturb' sign on the back of her head?! She quickly turned around and stared at two men then smirks both decked out in Armani suit's Carmen could smell the expense. Both looked like they had been on the job of whatever it is they were doing for quite sometime.<)

Carmen:Can I help you?

Man:Hello, I'm Lt. Bledsoe, Of the Ranch La'Cukkamonga police, your Carmen Refield-Williams- Borden-White-Jones-Respress-Buckner-Graham-Focker-Winters-Peterson-Simpson-Nash-Hall-Clinton-Bischoff-Winston-Phelps-Yomoto-Rohn-Grant-Drake-Stone-Noland-Perkins-Bonds-Mario-La'renzo-
Gates-Goldberg-Watkins-Rockefeller-Remsey-Spears-Charlston-Suess-Thomas-Mika-Smith-Nolte-
Abarca-Kuzilla-Law-Gibbons-Kilboune-Valentine.

Carmen:Emerson.

Lt.Bledsoe:Oh I'm sorry then aren't you, Carmen Refield-Williams- Borden-White-Jones-Respress-Buckner-Graham-Focker-Winters-Peterson-Simpson-Nash-Hall-Clinton-Bischoff-Winston-Phelps-Yomoto-Rohn-Grant-Drake-Stone-Noland-Perkins-Bonds-Mario-La'renzo-
Gates-Goldberg-Watkins-Rockefeller-Remsey-San'diego-Spears-Charlston-Suess-Thomas-Mika-Smith-Nolte-Abarca-Kuzilla-Law-Croft-Summers-Xavier-Gray-Emerson-Gibbons-Kilboune-Valentine.

Carmen:Yeah that's me.

Man:Ma'am I'm sgt.Whitewall, we're gonna need to ask you some questions?

Carmen:Like?

Lt.Bledsoe:Man'am we believe there was some foul-play in the accidental death of your 102 year old husband Sandegio La' Renzo.

(>Carmen covers her eyes, and tries to think of something tear-ful finally a champion Stacey Jordan coems to mind, tears gush from Carmen's eyes.<)

Carmen:(Crying)OHHH I loved him!! My sweet dear Sandeigo....what was his name again?

http://perriverse.dreamhost.com/pretender/gifs/dsa/parksyd1.jpg">

*Nothing says "Awww f*ck me!" like this expression*


Lt.Bledsoe:La'renzo ma'am.

Carmen:Oh my poor sweet Sandeigo La'renzo, ohh if only that limo's breaks haden't gone out!

Lt.Bledsoe:Ma'am he drowned.

Carmen:Oh..well umm Ohh if only that maid had wiped the deck clean!

Lt.Bledsoe:He drowed in the river.

Carmen:Oh..well that boat..it's capsized..I knew something was wrong with it's engine!

Lt.Bledsoe:Ma'am he fell from a plane.

Carmen:Oh well just get on with it!

Lt.Bledsoe:We'd like to know were where you during this incident?

Carmen:Just what insinuating here!? Are you saying I killed..what was his name?!

Lt.Bledsoe:Ma'am could you maybe tell us what he said before jumping?

Carmen:Someting along the lines of AHHHHH!

Lt.Bledsoe:I see, and you where there?

Carmen:Yes...I also believe he mentionee the F word quite a few times on his way down..to that..icy cold grave.

Lt.Bledsoe:It was in the summer ma'am.

Carmen:Oh I'm sorry (sobs) it's just so hard for me to remember an unfornate passing.

Lt.Bledsoe:Well ma'am we finally found his body..or better said his remains..it was hard but we wrestled him away from the sharks, we're shocked to say the least that his body lasted that long, however Ms.Valentine we did find some very intresting to say the least clues.

Carmen:(Sobs) Oh you mean the cuprit who drugged him might be finally brought to justice?!

Lt.Bledsoe:Umm ma'am what we sound was a indentation in the man's skull, it's rather deep so we don't think the impact of the water did it.

Carmen:So what are you saying?

Lt.Bledsoe:We're saying that his head was bashed in if I may be so blunt before hand.

Carmen:Oh my! (whippers) WHAT FRIGID BASTARD COULD HAVE BEAT THE CARTILAGE OUT OF MY SNUCKHAM'S HEAD!?!

Lt.Bledsoe:It's form a Donna Karen handbag.

(>Carmen cluthed the expensive 7,000 dollar Donna Karen purse at her side. With a frown.<)

Carmen:My word..you don't think he was....moonlighting do you?

Lt.Bledsoe:We don't think so Ms. Valentine, we'd like to go take a look at your apparrel if you don't mind.

Carmen:WHAT!?! WHY!?

Lt.Bledsoe:Well we've re-opened this case, we now believe that everyone is a suspect in the now upgraded muder of Ms. Sandiego La'renzo.

[Holy CRAP!! COLD BUSTED!!! Carmen could remember when she allowed that old foggie to take her up in that private plane of his, course Carmen cracked him in the head with her purse inside she kepts a break, and after hre husband would have be thought to have committed suicide no one on earth would have thought to check her purse for the murder weapon gush out a few tears and it'd sell better than a Unoffical Vixxen and MJ Francis porn.]

Lt.Bledsoe:So with that said Ms.Valentine we'll be needing you to come down town with us.

(>Quickly without even asking the PITA both men hoist her by the arms and drag her through the halls pass wrestlers and out the doors...dragnet style.<)

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