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Date Posted: 03:12:36 09/17/00 Sun
Author: Johnny Viscous
Subject: Who can people trust? Someone you know may stab you in the back courtesy of ME!!!

*** The scene opens up on a beach where you can see kids running around having fun and enjoying a great day on the beach.. One child runs up to a man sitting in the sun and holds out a piece of paper and pen at him.. The man grabs the piece of paper and pen and scribbles something down on the piece of paper... He hands it back and the child runs away jumping up and down... Another guy walks into the picture and sits down next to the guy on the beach chair.. The camera starts to come closer and closer to the two guys who are sitting there talking to eachother.. As the cameraman gets closer the two look up with a disgusted look on there faces.. You can see that it is Johnny Viscous and someone that has never been seen on national television before.. ***

Johnny - What the hell do you want?? Today, is my day off and I would like to have a day where I do not have to answer to fat out of shaped pieces of garbage from america.. I think it is really ridiculous and confusing to why America is known to most of the world as the best country but then they have people like you that represent them.. That does not make sense..

But anyways back to the subject at hand what do you want to ask me today.. Or should I guess again?

Cameraman - Why do you have to be such a prick to everyone??? Do you understand that no one likes you? From what I am hearing backstage in the Gladiator-Wrestling Alliance is that you are a snot-nosed brat who needs a really good butt whooping to put your back into your place!!

Johnny - Nobody likes me? Are you serious?? Oh my god, WHO CARES!! I could give two sh*ts about who likes me and who does not like me.. Do you hear that Greg, nobody likes me..

Greg - Well you know a couple of people in the GWA that like you.. But we will just keep that between me, you and them!!

Johnny - Oh that is right, I forgot that I do have a few allies here in the GWA.. Hell you know what it could be anyone, you know that.. I mean at home people could be going.. WHO THE HELL IS IT!??! I WANT TO KNOW!! They are probably thinking of any and everyone that it could actually be.. I mean it could be just about anyone.. Is it Trace Van Reardon? I mean I have heard some rumors that he was going to break up The Circle because they all suck.. I mean you know Greg, I got that from a high source that knows Trace better than anyone so you never know.. Or damn it could even be one of those son of a b*tches in the front office.. You know what I mean? Or hell, even my brother Joey could be that person.. Who knows, me and him could have put that past behind us and even got on the same page.. I guess people are just going to have to wait to find out.. Do you think people should trust anyone?

Greg - Well you know, people are going to say this guy Johnny Viscous is so full of shit, the toliets are jealous.. I mean do you actually think those dumb americans would believe such a story..

Johnny - I hope so.. Because when they realize that I was not bull sh*tting then they are going to feel dumb... You know?

Greg - What about That Guy Dave and his b*tch?? You know he can wrestle!

Johnny - Um... Is he even Canadian? I mean I have never seen this guy perform ever.. Or have I? I do not know and do not care.. Yeah, I guess it could be him but what if its not? People will start thinking its him and then when they find out its not.. Oh damn, are they going to feel dumb!! I think we are giving off too much information for these peoples own good.. I mean too much information in an American mind could be deadly because it would put one more of their own out on the streets or even put another gun into one of their childrens hands.. The morals of america has just gone down hill ever since the disco era.. I mean what was up with those pants??

Cameraman - We are getting off the topic here....

Greg - What about Alex Cage?

Johnny - Greg no more! I mean it.. We are going to say too much and then someone is going to find out and everything is ruined.. So Mr. Cameraman, do you have anymore exciting questions that I can answer for you today? You were probably thinking of going home and eating a jelly donut and jerking off to Pamela Anderson on the television but since your lack of education has given you a job like this, I guess Pamela and that jelly donut are going to have to wait.. So come on.. Ask me some more mind boggiling questions..

Cameraman - I want to know more about what you think of your opponents on Wednesday, Mr. Kado and Jason Craven.. They are really good competition.. What do you think of your chances on Wednesday?

Johnny - Are you serious? You think they are good competition? What do american wrestlers actually think they have what it takes to go into the ring with the Canadian Hero.. Is this guy serious? Who pays you anyways? I bet its that fat ass Steven Fury huh.. No offense Steven, but you are a little over-weight!!

Greg - Yeah, what the hell is wrong with you.. Do you know who you are talking too?

Johnny - Did you or did you not listen to my brothers interview earlier today.. He called me sadistic and willing to do anything to get a victory.. I have been put through more tables in my short wrestler history to build a hundred houses for Habitat for Humanity... You actually think that they can handle wrestling with me? HA! Is everyone under some kind of spell that when they think of wrestling ALL americans are better than everyone in the world? I do not think so..

Greg - Johnny settle down you are getting a little tensed up.. Why do you get paid to ask stupid questions? You actually think these fairies have one ounce of a chance, to hang with my buddy Johnny here.. I mean, have you even heard from these guys so far? Ever since the match was announced that they would be wrestling Johnny, they have been non-exsistent.. Where are these guys? I would have thought I would have heard from them atleast once or maybe even twice here.. But this is Johnny's second interview before they even have put out one.. Does that show dedication to the sport?

Johnny - Oh shut up Greg.. You know I am getting paid to do this interview, that is the only reason I am doing this.. I need some new clothes and I want to go out to dinner here pretty soon.. I am getting quite hungry..

Cameraman - Oh come on you know you do not mean that.. You still have some feelings for the fans dont you?

Johnny - Why do I repeat myself for ignorant people who do not listen to what I say in the first place.. I do not care about the fans one bit, if I was to walk out to a crowd of all boos.. Hell, I would love that more than coming out to being cheered by the fans south of the Canadian border.. I do not care about any american people what so ever.. I think wrestling in america is going to be a total waste of my time and totally pointless.. Now wrestling for Canadians fans.. Now thats what its all about..

Greg - You got that right.. Hey what about that Deacon guy?

Cameraman - You guys are such, excuse my french....

Johnny - See you are already learning that Canada is better.. You are wanting to speak French... Cool, I knew we could get you to love Canada and renounce that crappy country..

Cameraman - I DID NOT SAY THAT!! I am out of here, I can not stand it when people talk bad about the country I love and respect so much..

Johnny - Is that a tear? I think I see a tear coming from your eyes...

Cameraman - OH SHUT UP!! I am leaving!!!

*** The picture turns around and starts moving towards a van that is parked in the sand of the beach.. You can hear laughing in the background ***

Johnny - Run Forest Ruuunnn!!! I bet he is going to go home and cry to his crack head mother who will slap him around for wasting her time because he is a p*ssy!!

*** The laughter continues as the cameras picture starts to fade to black.. ***

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