Subject:  Lost in my new beginnings |
Author:
Kris
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Date Posted: Sun, Jun 22 2003, 6:47:04
Hi Carol and everyone, my name is Kris and I came across this website of readings from 1st reading the website about the violet flame and St. Germain (I to believe things happen for a reason and was led to your bio and e-mail for a reason.) I find myself at a crossroads and in need of some guidance, and after reading about your gifts in your bio I knew immediately that you were the one that will help lead me back to my path. Ever since I was a child I could feel spirits touching me and sense their presence, as I grew older my "abilities" also grew to the point where I would just "know" when things were going to happen (which has saved my life on many occasions and allowed me to read people and sense what they were feeling.) My abilities peaked a few years ago when I not only could feel my spirit guides but could now hear their messages (to the point that I have a whole notebook of information they have given me on an array of different subjects that have allowed me to understand our purpose here and on the other side.) During one of our conversations one night, I told them that my one wish was to "visit" the other side and see proof for myself that heaven in fact exists and to have the conscious memory of it. Well, my wish was granted and I experienced Astral Traveling for the 1st time. I was awake when I first started feeling my spirit leaving my body (I was laying there and felt my legs lifting up, which of course scared me to the point that I pushed them down only to have them then the rest of my spirit raise out of my body) I proceeded through my bedroom door to my living room where I floated up to the ceiling to play with my cats which were able to see me, then out the window to the other side. Once there I was surrounded by a group of people that I've never physically seen before, but my spirit knew (and they obviously knew me as they seemed very excited to see me) and was blessed with also seeing my best friend Adie who passed away 9 yrs. ago as well as my cat Jynx who has also passed...I remember vividly how excited I was to see them, and the feeling of absolute love and peace is something I will cherish for the rest of my life. My problem is this...after visiting with my friends I sat down with a man who I now have come to know was St. Germain who informed me that it was time for me to come home (I even said to him "you mean I'm going to die", which he replied yes I would during my neck surgery....I had a car accident which I should have been killed in, but knew it was coming so I sold my mustang and bought a truck which saved me from being decapitated, but ended up with 5 herniated discs in my neck which can only be corrected with surgery...he even told me exactly how I would die from a blood clot on the table) when I awoke the next morning and recalled everything that happened I was filled with a sense of true happiness of being blessed with the ability of being able to astral travel and having the memory of heaven, and a feeling of dread of knowing that it was my time to go (I chose to be in a family to learn the lesson of victim, which I have learned but I have a nephew who is a kindred spirit and I am his lifeline for his lesson seems to be the same as mine was for he to doesn't "fit" into his family and is also abused), so after weeks of sadness that I was leaving him, I finally came to accept and was looking forward to returning home. Well, at some point I must have made a trip again and requested to stay for my nephew and to start a new path (I don't have the conscious memory of this visit, just knew that things had changed and that I wasn't going to return "home" during my surgery.) This is where my problem begins....and I'm sorry that this is so long, I just felt that the more you knew of my history, the better grasp you would have on it....after I've made this choice to stay, I've seem to have started all over again, a rebirth so to speak (which I actually had a woman who works on chakras and as she does so gets messages from your spirit guides and she told me that I had the brightest and most open chakras she had ever felt before, and as she was working on them she proceeded to tell me that my guides told her it was like a hand reached down from heaven and plucked me up then put me back again...which of course brought tears to my eyes as this is exactly how I felt during my astral experience, and as she got to my crown chakra she saw what looked liked a fetus, like I was just being born again and in the beginning phases and that I would have power that she couldn't even put into words but was so powerful to feel) Since this "rebirth", I haven't been able to communicate with my guides, or have any of the abilities I've had before (I've had a few experiences where I was laying there and one of my spirits was laying with me and I could feel them, and one experience astral traveling) but I can't seem to figure out what and where I'm supposed to go at this point. I lost my business and had to go on disability from my car accident, but I just "know" that isn't what I'm supposed to do anymore (I did corrective muscle therapy, working on people with disabilities and chronic pain... I've always known I was supposed to help people) I to can read Tarot cards and they led me to shapeshifter tarot cards, and also to a book on shamanism which I keep feeling a pull to, but again I can't seem to get a clear picture of where to go to start on my new path...and with that comes frustration and sadness. I've had to walk away from my family to end the victim cycle and seem to have all ties to people that were important to me here end either from death or other circumstances to the point that I feel there is nothing left here for me and that I'm supposed to start this "new" life somewhere else. I feel so lost and lonely that part of me wants to give up, but another part of me (the fighter part that has allowed me to survive all I've been through in my life) knows there is another life waiting for me out there and I just need help being pointed in the right direction, or what my first step is to get it started. I embrace the violet flame, my gifts, my guides, God and the Goddess, and whatever I'm meant to do with my life....I keep my chakras completely open and accept what is meant for me and I guess I'm writing to you in the hopes that maybe you will get a message from a guide, or through channeling (I just have this feeling that my message will come from St. Germain just as my other message did) of what I need to do or go to get myself on my new path (I've had several past life regressions done and had them confirmed by my own guides...this is when I was still able to communicate with them freely...that in almost all of my lives I've had "gifts" of communicating with spirits, healing through light in my hands, psychic abilities, and in almost every life was a martyr...which if that is my destiny, I accept that.) Do you get any feeling of this "power" the lady who did my chakras was talking about? Is it to be used to help others? Is this where my path is leading me? If you have any answers to these confusing questions, or get any messages on where I'm supposed to turn or start (before I lose all hope), I would greatly appreciate it. Again I'm sorry this was so long, and it was wonderful to finally be able to talk about some of the things I've experienced and gone through that most people don't believe in (and my family definitely is not anyone I can talk to about this, or even have them open enough to let me try to explain it without them thinking I'm on drugs or crazy lol) If you get a chance to drop me a line on this that would be wonderful...my e-mail is Kmisbyndrelief@aol.com...if you don't have time, I understand...I'm sure you get a lot of e-mails and are very busy. I just appreciate you taking the time to read this and allowing me to get this off my chest :) Thank you again, and God bless!!
Sincerely,
Kris Moser
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